


Stay with You

by PoetrytoProse



Series: With the Clintons [2]
Category: Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: F/M, Politics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-14 03:07:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 42,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9157510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoetrytoProse/pseuds/PoetrytoProse
Summary: A new life, a heart attack, a bomb threat, an angry jealous husband, a wife chasing after (the said) husband, a broken lamp, a flying pan [?], a two middle aged man in a fist fight, a broken heart, and a kiss under the rain. Just your ordinary series of fortunate and unfortunate events from the Clintons after their story inBack to You.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 100% Fiction. With Preservatives and with added Sugar. Good for your (Billary) heart. Good for your soul. WOW. (´꒳`)

**New York, 2001**

One of the younger interns in Hillary Clinton's senate office arrived in the office carrying a box of feminine products. The feminine products were sort of a "thank you" gift for the advocacies that Hillary Clinton was fighting for. The intern was happily carrying as it would be one of the instances that she might actually have a face-to-face interaction with her idol.

Hillary Clinton was in a heated discussion with her colleague, because the Republican senators were again blocking the bill that she wanted to pass.

"Those idiots! They think that they can bully me into submission! I am not compromising my proposal." She said seething. Seriously, they should have known that she's a person who doesn't compromise. It's either all or nothing for her. 

"Huma, can you get the research team to double check the data of the families that still doesn't have an insurance and what pains them from getting one?" She asked, her voice losing the heat from anger.

The young intern thought that it would be a good time for her to come in.

"Hello senator Clinton, a package for you."

The aides, secret service, and Hillary stopped and all of them glanced at the young intern looking at the box that she was holding. They looked at it horrified like as if she just handed them a snake, instead of a box.

"Please put down the box ma'am." The secret service asked calmly.

"Wha—what?" The intern asked obviously starting to get terrified.

"You can't handout boxes to the senator without having it to go through the security pass." Huma announced. Hillary moved uncomfortably away.

"But it's feminine products —"

"Please don't open the box. Get the senator out." The agent announced, moving rapidly. "Please put the box carefully on the ground. Have the intern checked on her background."

This is not how the intern imagined her first day in Senator Clinton's office.

###

Hillary was massaging her temples. The breach of security earlier caused delay on their agenda that day. They were escorted out of the office. Hillary instructed to ensure that the new interns to be briefed of the protocols.

"Feminine products indeed." Huma said slumping on the chair in front of Hillary's desk. "Well at least we all have supplies of tampons."

Hillary stopped and took a look on the box of tampons.

Wait.

When was her last period again? She thought. She reached out to check her calendar only to find that she was a week late.

Wait.

W a i t.

She can't be pregnant at 54, right?

Wait, no. Just no. She shook her head.

To say they stopped using contraceptives because she knew that her chances of getting pregnant is already unlikely. But they were active even at their age. Bill and Hillary had been sleeping together like once, or thrice a week. Well, depending on Bill's appetite or depending on her mood. But they were active. Getting pregnant is something that she did not even thought of.

She looked across at Huma and almost wanted to ask if she can buy her a pregnancy test kit. But dismissed the idea. Maybe she's just getting paranoid. Maybe it will arrive in the next few days. Maybe.

###

But maybe not. Three days passed. Still no sign that her period is going to arrive.

Hillary was pacing in their room, while Bill was taking his shower. She just completed her shower and was still wrapped in her bathrobe when Bill emerged out. He was rubbing his still wet hair with another towel when he stopped and looked at her, "are you okay?" He asked. Hillary stopped pacing and took a look at him. He still looks amazing at 55. He still got that boyish charm that she so adore. His salt and pepper hair was standing in different direction. He was bare feet. His face clean and slightly flushed. His royal blue robe tied perfectly. She thought that if he decides to walk outside and went on fifth avenue in his robe, people wouldn't mind because he looks perfect just being in his robe. Oh for sure people would flock him, ladies in particular. She rolled her eyes at the thought. 

"What?" He asked smiling approaching her. Oh she knew that smile. It was a tease.

The Way You Look Tonight was playing faintly outside their hotel room. "Come here" he said, taking both of her hands as they slow danced on the music. He held her hand close to his chest while he gripped her waist. She was smiling up to him, "you silly man, we should be hurrying up because we have a dinner to attend to." Bill smiled down at her, "we still have a time. The dinner is held in this venue anyway. They won't hate me if I needed more ... what do we call it? Oh, yeah _human being time_ with my wife." He descended his head to start nibbling the skin on her neck, "Honey, stop! We just had our shower." She protested laughing, pulling away from his embrace. But he pulled her back, "then we'll just shower again." "Nooo!" She said laughing as he playfully start pulling the knot of her robe. "Stop!" She said firmly with straight face, but she ended up biting her lips preventing herself from laughing. Bill dropped a kiss on her smiling mouth, "okay, go start dressing up, before I change my mind and ravish you instead." He said letting her go, then he reached out to playfully pat her backside.

###

2 weeks passed and her period hasn't arrived yet.

Her worry escalated to panic. She couldn't concentrate and people had noticed it. Huma noticed that she was not on her usual cheerful self so during their lunch when she noticed that Hillary was spacing out, she finally asked, "are you okay? You seem very distracted lately." She opened her mouth to say something then stopped, then decided to finally say it. "I think I might be pregnant." 

Huma gaped at her, "wait, what?" She asked.

Hillary rolled her eyes, "you heard me." Huma, still looked shocked, then said, "No, I mean, yeah, I heard you. But I mean, are you sure —", Hillary stood up from her seat feeling too anxious to be sitting. "No, I'm not sure but I am 2 weeks late on my period." She went near to the window to look outside the people passing by, when Huma asked, "Did you tell the President about it?" Hillary shook her head, "No, I can't tell him, not until I am sure." Then like as if Huma read her thought, she asked, "I can have someone buy you a pregnancy test kit." Hillary turned around, her eyes wide, "please, but do it discretely. We do not want anyone to pick up and make an issue out of this." Huma shrugged, "piece of cake."

###

Three different pregnancy kits, all returned positive.

She was already in her hotel room when she took the test and now Hillary was looking at the three kits—shocked. A sweat broke on her forehead in anxiety. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph she needs to calm down, she thought. She needs to handle this as calmly as she can. She had been pregnant before, so she can handle this. What worries her though is that she was no longer as young when she got pregnant. My God, she's no longer an ordinary citizen that people can leave alone! She was already imagining the different story that tabloids would come up with her pregnancy. She was so caught in her thought that she didn't notice that her phone had been incessantly ringing.

She picked it up, it was Chelsea. "Mom, Dad and I are heading now in the restaurant. Where are you?" "I'll be there in a minute! I'll be a little late." 

She arrived in the restaurant and she found Chelsea and Bill, they were laughing on something when she arrived. Bill stood up immediately when he saw her, and give her a kiss on top of her head when she took her seat next to him. Chelsea reached out to give her a peck on the cheek. 

"Have you ordered?" She asked, Chelsea nodded. "We already ordered for you too, mom."

All throughout their dinner she hardly spoke. It was just Bill and Chelsea who were laughing and conversing. She was so distracted that it bothered Bill, "are you okay?" He asked as he placed his hand on her arm. She wanted to spill it out, but she just couldn't. It felt like her tongue was tied. She just nodded and took a sip of her wine.

When their plates were cleared, she still felt gloomy. Bill wiped his mouth with the napkin and finally had enough of her silence, he moved his seat to face her, "say it now. I know something is bothering you. You better say it before I lose my mind with your silence."

Hillary looked at him, _maybe she should just say it here_ , "yes, mom. You are awfully so quiet." She turned her head to look at Chelsea. _My God what will her daughter thought of her?_ "Hillary ..." Bill called snapping her attention back to him. _Maybe, maybe not_. "Dad I haven't told you but the we already have bagged a deal for our project in Mumbai." Chelsea said interjecting. Bill glanced to his daughter nodding. There was so much noise, and it's getting into her nerves. _Heck, she'll just say it. They'll know anyway._ Bill picked up the goblet with water and drank.

"I think I'm pregnant." She announced.

Silence.

She swear she felt the world stopped in a fraction of second.

But then Bill choked on his drink, spewing and coughing the water. Chelsea stared at her too shocked to speak. 

It took a moment for Chelsea to find her voice, then absentmindedly asked, "how did that happened?"

Hillary blinked in disbelief with her question, "seriously, how?" 

"No, I know that, I don't mean the details how you did it. I don't need to know that, but ... Mom you're 54."

"Ask your dad." She said her voice muffled as she pressed her face on both of her hands. Bill was patting his chest, wiping the water off his shirt, "I'll take that as a flattery, darling. Imagine at my age I can still get you knocked up." He told her starting to chuckle.

Hillary took a peak from her hand to look at her husband who was grinning down at her, "this is not funny, William." She reprimanded, but Bill just chuckled some more, and placed a kiss on her temple seemingly delighted.

###

Back on their hotel. Hillary was wearing her yellow robe, she was sitting on the stool facing the vanity while she was putting up some lotion on her leg. Bill was lounging on their bed after they took a shower together. He was already dressed in a boxers and a white shirt, his hair still wet. He was watching her put on some lotion with a smile on his lips. He had been teasing her about her pregnancy. Hillary was responding with exaggeration that Bill found irresistible. But when she said, "I cannot believe how cool you are with this," in a hushed tone, Bill straightened up. Apparently, she was taking this not well enough, and he was not being supportive, he thought.

With a sigh he rolled off from the bed and went to her. He stood behind her, Hillary looked at him from their reflection on their mirror, she stopped putting up the lotion. His eyes never leaving hers, he had her stood up. Then he reached out for the lotion and placed some on his palms, he unhooked the tie on her robe until the gap was enough for him to insert his hands. When he did, he slowly started massaging her stomach. He pressed her closer until his cheek was pressed against the side of her face, his lips next to her ear. Having his large and able hands massage her stomach aroused her immediately. She closed her eyes loving the feel of his hands. "I'm sorry if I'm being cool about it, but seriously, darling, I am pleased—actually—if you are carrying my child." He told her huskily. She placed her hands on top of his as he continued to caress. She pressed her back, and she felt him hard against her backside. "I'm sorry if this news seems to be distressing you, but to see you swell again, and knowing that our child is growing inside of you, it just brings so much joy to me. I hope you do too." She turned to look at him, her arms around his neck, rubbing her hands on his hair. "I am happy, actually happier, I guess I am just scared. I'm no longer young, and our critics are cruel. I am afraid of the stress level we'll put the child." She told him as she laid her head against his chest. He cradled her head, his lips pressed against her forehead. "We'll worry about that when we get there. First, we'll have to visit your doctor to confirm, alright?" 

That night he held her, his hands splayed on her stomach already imaging it huge with his child. The scene was all too familiar, he thought. Didn't he thought about it when they were in the woods having a picnic when he wished that their love making would result to a child? His over eagerness to make it happen, might actually come true. He smiled against her hair. Well, he's a man who always wants to see result, he thought too proudly of himself. Then he felt Hillary move, she turned to face him, her eyes closed from sleep, she burrowed on the space and tucked herself just under his chin. She made a soft sigh, and he cooed her then rubbed her back. 

Oh, of course, he'd be thrilled if she's really carrying his child. He'll take care of them both, "sleep tightly you two", he whispered as he pressed his lips in her forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I really need to stop the "You" titled stories. HAHAHA._ I was listening to John Legend's Stay With You and the lyrics went perfectly well with their relationship, no? Anyway, I am torn. I am sort of playing with the thought of them having a kid (FYI, apparently by late 50's you can still have a child, dangerous but possible). I think I can justify the story but this will derail my supposed plan, so I don't know ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ . I am not sure yet, which is why I ended the story this way so I can still decide, HAHA. I just can't resist when I thought of Bill carrying a baby boy with pudgy arms and feet kicking wildly wanting to be carried by Hillary instead. HAHAHAHA. OMG. Anyway, let me know. Yay to Baby Clinton or Nay? (∩_∩)
> 
> FYI: The reference of Bill's wish to have a kid during their picnic was actually a scene from [Chapter 6 in Back to You](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8792074/chapters/20346835).


	2. Chapter 2

**Presbyterian Hospital, 2001**

They went to the hospital a little too early. Hillary had requested to take the earliest test. She was so careful not to be seen that they had sneaked into the hospital by entering from the back. Bill took care of the discretion by ordering the lead of their secret service to make an arrangement with the hospital.

After Hillary took the test, the doctor had made them wait inside her office. And seriously, waiting is what Hillary hated the most. She had been glancing back and forth on the wall clock. She was so anxious to know the result that she had been fidgeting in her seat. Bill on the other hand was relaxed. He was reading a newspaper next to her. He held her hand while he balances the newspaper on his lap. His eyeglass perched on the tip of his nose.

Hillary turned to him and said, "what if I am not pregnant?" Bill drag his gaze from the newspaper to look at her, he tipped his head down to look at her over his eyeglass then shrugged and said, "then you're not pregnant." "Are you gonna be upset?" She asked. Bill searched her gaze and realized that she was worried that he might not be pleased if they found out that she's not. He smiled and pressed a kiss on her cheek and said, "if you're not pregnant. It's fine too." It seemed to pacify Hillary that she leaned back on her seat, but then she jolted forward and asked, "but what if I am pregnant?" Bill started to chuckle. He found this side of Hillary so unusual that he couldn't help but be amused, "then I'll be really happy." He told her grinning. Hillary was about to say something when the doctor arrived.

"Well, I think congratulations are in order, you are 3 weeks pregnant Senator Clinton."

"Oh my God" she groaned, her face on her hands.

The doctor suddenly looked down at her, confused with her reaction, "are you okay Mrs. Clinton?" She asked. Bill stood up and went to the doctor. He was smiling, a little too proud of himself. He pats the shoulder of the doctor then said, "she's actually very happy with the news. She doesn't know how to react. I mean it has been so long since we had a child." "Well, I guess we'll be expecting to see her for the next few weeks to have her regular check up. There are few things that she needs to consider like less exposure of stress, getting enough rest, and of course some of the vitamins that I have indicated in the prescription." She handed Bill a small paper bearing instructions and medications. "Being pregnant at her age is unusual, but it happens. What you have to understand though, that being pregnant at her age is dangerous." The doctor told him and waited for it to sink.

Bill pursued his lips, then nodded, "she will be well taken care of. I assure you of that, doc."

"Okay, I already have listed down her appointments. We'll get in touch."

###

Hillary's heart sank.

This is real.

The baby is now real.

They were on their way back to their hotel, and Bill was looking out on the street outside their SUV. He was so overjoyed by the thought of a child that he was already thinking of baby names. _If it's a boy he will be a William Jefferson Junior. Definitely. A William Jefferson. He will be a William Clinton to a lot. Future President too._ He thought smiling.

Hillary, on the other hand, was preoccupied in her own thoughts. She had her head resting against his chest. Bill's arm wrapped around her shoulder. He was lazily rubbing her arm, when suddenly he heard her sobbing. He tipped his head down to look at her, "honey, why are you crying?" He asked worried. "Please don't ask. It must be the hormones." "Are you not happy?" He asked looking at her eyes. She bit her lips, shook her head then said "I am afraid. I've never been more afraid. I am happy, and I know I should be. But I am afraid with what he will go through. We'll have to make an announcement soon." Bill nodded, then he pulled her closer tightening his embrace. "Sshhhh," he murmured. "Stop worrying. We'll do everything to protect the child, alright?" He grasp her chin to have her look at him. "We'll arrange the announcement soon, and I will do everything to protect you, okay? Can you trust me with that?" He asked, his eyes gentle. She nodded, "yes, I trust you." Bill smiled faintly, took out his handkerchief from his pocket and started wiping her tears. "What I want you to understand is that you are not alone. You might be burdened by carrying the child, but I am the father, so I'll try my damn-est best to make sure that you are protected."

###

It was past 5:30 PM and she's not yet done. She had told Bill that she would be home by 6:00 PM but, as it seems, she doesn't see it happening.

6:00 PM

6:30 PM

7:00 PM

7:30 PM

8:00 PM

Hillary had 8 pages left to read. She gave a yawn when Huma peeked from her door. "I have to go now, Hill. Are you sure you'll be fine?" Without looking up from her dossier, Hillary nodded and said, "yup, I'll be done in a while. Take good care!"

It didn't take long when someone knocked on her door again. Huma had probably forgotten something. "What have you left this time?" She asked with a smile. "I can't remember that I left something but I am looking for my wife." Bill said from the door. He was standing next to it wearing his white buttoned down shirt without his necktie, a few buttons popped open revealing his neck. He brought his briefcase with him and, what looks like, a packed dinner.

Hillary smiled widely, her papers forgotten. She rushed to him and pulled him for an embrace. "Hello," Bill whispered against her ear, then he pulled back to look at her face. "Hello yourself," she replied, her eyes dropping down at his lips then back to his eyes, begging to be kissed. Bill understood her request, and he indulged her. He kissed her tentatively until she tiptoed to deepen the kiss. Bill angled his head, clutching her to him. When she pulled back to catch her breath, she wiped the smudged lipstick off his lips with her thumb as they went to her table arms on each others back. "Are you not yet done?" He asked quietly. She shook her head, "I'm sorry, just a few more papers to read then I'm done. What do you have with you?" she asked looking at the paper bag that he was holding. "I bought you some sandwich. I thought you might need something to eat. I brought my papers too. I'll read them here while I wait for you." They stopped in front of her desk, Bill placed the paper bag on the top of the table. "You'll wait for me?" She teased. Bill gripped her chin and playfully said in his accent, "why, of course, ain't gonna leave my girl alone workin'." She giggled, obviously pleased by his thoughtfulness.

09:00 PM

09:30 PM

Hillary was already on her last paper. She was so taken by what she was doing that she had forgotten that Bill was with her. She look across from her where Bill sat. He transferred to another table earlier which was a few steps away from her. He was slumping on a chair that's quite small for his frame. His head bowed, his eyeglass still perched on his nose. He had fallen asleep while waiting for her. She smiled gently and picked up her papers. She crouched in front of him and lightly rubbed his arm, "Let's go home, honey." She said just above whisper. Bill fluttered his eyes then looked at his watch and said, "Geez, it's 09:30, no more reading when we get home." He said in yawn. Hillary snaked her arm around his back, "Yup, no more reading."

Still sleepy, Bill tried to extend his sleep inside their SUV by resting his head back against the headrest, however, Hillary had seen his discomfort. She reached out and pulled him closer, then she lilt his head until she had his head resting on her shoulder. She kept her hand cradling his face to keep his head from bouncing, while she try to finish the last page that she was reading. "No more reading," he reminded her his voice hoarse from sleep. She smiled, "the condition was for me not to read when we get home, so sleep now sleepy-head."

###

Hillary just finished her nightly ritual and was sitting on her side of the bed when she glanced at Bill who was sleeping heavily beside her. Bill, at this state, makes him look more younger: his face relaxed, his mouth slightly open, and the lines on his face not visible. She would have thought him 10 years younger if not for his salt and pepper hair. She moved closer to take a good look at his face, her eyes landed on the small scar above his eyebrow.

She lightly touched it remembering how he got it when she had thrown a book hitting him at that spot. She almost laughed at the memory, but instead, she gave a gentle smile because it made her realize how far and rich their experience was in life. She suddenly wondered, if she knew what her life would have been then, would she still marry him? Would she still say yes? 

She brushed back his hair and placed a kiss on his forehead. 

Well, of course, she would still choose him, after all, she thought, he was worth every pain. 

"Good night, love." She gently said.

###

Just after lunch the next day, Hillary arrived in her office only to be told that someone was waiting for her in her office. When she asked who it was, the aide told her that it was her friend senator Kerry.

It had been quite awhile since she had seen him. Senator Kerry had been her friend. He was one of the senators who had championed the bill regarding the expansion of coverage of healthcare that she rallied for when she was a First Lady. Their correspondence had been through missives or through phone during that time, but she had been very grateful because he had been there for her when she needed his help. "You only have to ask," he would used to say. 

She initially met him back then in a caucus in the Democratic party when Bill was a governor. She was waiting for Bill and was playing a crossword puzzle, when he spoke from behind. 

"Hinge."

She turned around only to find a tall guy smiling down at her, his hands in his pocket. 

"Excuse me?" She asked trying to remember who he was.

"Across, number 8, it says 'to join together'." He told her pointing on the number 8 under across on her crossword.

"Oh, well, I wasn't answering that one yet."

He chuckled, "I'm John Kerry. You are?"

"Hillary Rodham Clinton."

"Clinton," he said in a suave baritone, seemingly contemplating her name, "Governor Clinton's wife?" He asked.

"That one." She said smiling.

He joined her in the table and they both discussed different topics, until they fell into an easy conversation talking about their hometown. She also found out that he served during the Vietnam war, and is a war hero too. They discussed about the war until John had to say goodbye. Hillary got comfortable with him, and found him kind, and gentle. Whenever their party would have a caucus, John would never fail to say hello, or talk to her. They drifted apart when Bill had became President though, and their friendship was reduced through missives and phone calls.

Now it felt surreal to see him here in her office, it has been a long time since she saw him personally. 

He was facing her shelf, reading the spine of her books. Since his back was turned, she had the chance to observe him, and she realized how things had changed. His hair was already a combination of a salt and pepper, his shoulder wider than she can remember, his back erect just as what was trained to him as an officer. He wore a dark blue suit that she knew was tailored to fit him perfectly. She took the moment to clear her throat and call him, "Senator Kerry."

John's back stiffened, then he turned around, and gave her a boyish lopsided smile, "Senator Clinton."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the response on the first chapter! （*＾3＾） 
> 
> So I already made a decision to keep the baby. To say though, I almost ended up not keeping it. I realized not keeping the baby would make the story darker (hello, angst!). I think I already have some drama considering that John had already entered the scene. If you have read the [Back to You](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8792074/chapters/20156047), he was briefly mentioned in [Chapter 3](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8792074/chapters/20205295). I was glad I was able to keep him there, at least for the sake of cohesiveness of the story. John Kerry will be a heck of competition. *side eyes* Bill ✌三✌('ω')✌三✌. It'll be fun! Thank you again for the support, encouragement, and kudos. 
> 
> Hope to talk to hear about your thoughts in this chapter (b^_^)b


	3. Chapter 3

"It's been quite a while, are we going to be this formal moving forward, Hill?" John teased using her nickname.

Hillary shook her head smiling. Here's her friend who had helped her without asking for anything in return, and she was treating him like a stranger. "I'm sorry John, it has been a long time."

He chuckled, his eyes crinkling on the side.

"What brings you here?" She asked. "I have a business to attend to here before the session begins. I knew you were just around the neighbor so I thought I'd drop by."

"You know what, there's an ice cream around the corner, do you want to grab some?" She asked trying to lighten the awkwardness.

"Only if you would let me pay." He said smiling.

They discussed how things go around the senate since he's a senior. Hillary had forgotten how easily they always fall into a conversation—always finding a common ground. Ever since they left her building they talked non-stop. Every now and then he would try to insert a joke catching her off guard making her laugh. He kept a decent distance, and would only—once in a while—would dare to touch, or to assist her. He treated her like his equal, and with respect.

"Sometimes being in Senate reminds me of war, just not bloody and gore. But it's ruthless. There are strategies to make, you have to ensure that you are not caught off guard or else the Republicans would gut you alive."

They bought their ice cream around the corner. He got himself a vanilla and chocolate, she got herself a strawberry. They enjoyed their ice cream in cone as they continue their walk. They were talking about how he cope with the death of his wife and her journey as a cancer patient. Hillary listened intently. John held no bitterness in life in spite of how his wife had suffered. Maybe that's how war taught him, she thought. They rounded a corner and ended up on a park. Hillary realized that they both enjoyed talking so much they didn't notice that they were already quite far from her office. He sat on the bench and she sat next to him. Some agents that went with them stood near inconspicuously. There were mothers and children that had asked for her photos that she had obliged smilingly. She apologized to John while she had her picture taken.

John was observing her while she was occupied. She was graceful, friendly, smart, and generous. He knew that she was a rare woman when he first met her. He admired her then, and he still admired her now. She was tough, and knew her position without being arrogant. The moment that he got to know her, he made a decision to keep her close—even just a friend.

"I guess we better go back to the office." Hillary told him after indulging people for photograph. "Yeah, before all the New Yorkers flock here and decide to have their pictures taken with you." He joked.

While they walk back to the office, John was contemplating in wanting to know something: he was so curious to know about her marriage. Are they okay? Is it true that she stayed married to Bill because of her political ambition? He wanted to know, but he was afraid that it might sound too prying for someone who was trying to reacquaint himself.

Hillary felt that he wanted to know about her marriage but he was beating around the bush. He asked a lot about her, saved for Bill and her marriage. She wondered if he was just being shy about it or he was respecting her private affairs. Either way she appreciated his sensitivity.

John brought her to her office until they stopped in front of her door. She faced him with a smile in her face. "I enjoyed this so much, John," she told him. He stood in front of her, his hands on his side. "I enjoyed it too." He said, his eyes gentle.

It was unfortunate though that at the same time Bill arrived unexpectedly. He was in the hallway leading to her office when he had seen her standing next to a tall guy. He stopped on his tracks. He didn't want to get their attention, because it seems his wife and this guy were sharing a sacred moment. He couldn't make out what they were talking about. But he could see that she was friendly with him. He got closer enough to see who she was talking to, only to realize that it was Senator Kerry.

_Jesus._

Even without John saying it, Bill knew that John likes Hillary. He knew because John would do everything for her. He, no doubt, would even offer the world for her. At one point while Bill was in the Senate back when he was still a President, John had confront him about the humiliation that he had caused her. The Secret Service did not deter John from confronting him.

_"Hurt her again, and I swear to God I'll take her away from you."_

_"Is that a threat?"_

_"Are you threatened?"_

Seeing him here made him grit his teeth, and he felt a sickening feeling in his gut. John was married then when he made that warning so he knew that he did it out of his loyalty and friendship with her. Bill knew that John wanted to save her from him then. But John right now is a widower. Available. If John wanted to save her from him, for sure he would want her for himself.

A sweat broke on his forehead. His hands felt cold. Bill perfectly knew this. He knew if a man is interested in a woman. He knew John would not probably be cowed by the fact that she's married. John, in some way, is like him: relentless, persuasive, and smooth.

Hillary tiptoed and gave John a friendly peck on a cheek. This made Bill decided to make his presence known. Bill approached them and cleared his throat.

They both looked at him. Hillary's eyes sparkled when she saw him. Bill automatically went to her side and snaked his arm on her back. John took a step back giving them a space. Bill's light cool blue eyes met John's ocean blue. John stood taller by 6'4 to Bill's 6'2 height. John was also bulkier. But Bill was not easily intimidated. Even without saying it there was an apparent hostility toward each other that Hillary was not aware of.

"Mr. President." John greeted gravely.

"Senator."

"Honey, John will be staying here in New York for the next few weeks why don't we invite him for dinner?"

Bill's gaze never left John, just as John held his stare. "Yeah, why don't you join us for dinner sometime?" Then Bill moved his arm to drape it around her shoulder. John shifted as he received Bill's message. It was clear as the day: _ _She's mine.__

"I would be delighted, just let me know when."

John decided that it's his time to go. "It's nice seeing you, Hill. Mr. President. But I have to go."

"I'll see you soon, John." Hillary said. John just smiled. 

When John was no longer in sight, Hillary turned to Bill smiling. "Hello" She whispered. "Hello yourself" Bill greeted playfully. Hillary chortled at their banter. It has always been like that how they greet each other. 

When her laughter subsided, she asked, "and what are you doing here?"

 _What indeed?_ He missed her. He was in his office a few blocks away from hers, and he had been thinking of her. He couldn't concentrate because he couldn't wait to see her again. _God, he sounded like a besotted idiot._ He's a grown man, not an infatuated teenager. But that's exactly what he was.

Infatuated.

With his wife.

Hillary was looking at him, waiting for him to respond while he just stared back at her his lips slightly parted—lost for words again for the first time.

When he found his voice, he said, "I went here," as he encircled her waist with his arms, pulling her closer to his body, "because I couldn't wait to see you again." He lowered his head and kissed her, he deepened the kiss until she clung to him.

They kissed in the hallway which was bold to do so as people might pass by and catch them, but he didn't really care, because at that moment, to have her in his arms is all that he needed.

When he ended the kiss, he hovered his head just a mere few inches away from her. "Whatever did you do to me?" He whispered. "Why?" She asked rubbing her nose to his. "You've got me under your spell. You can ask me anything, I'll give it to you." She crinkled her nose, and smiled, "well you can start by picking our dinner tonight."

He laughed out loud, then he buried his face in the crook of her neck, his shoulder quaking. Their laughter echoing along the hallway, while they held each other in embrace.

###

That night he couldn't sleep he was so bothered by John's arrival. He doesn't know where his fear was coming from, his insecurities? The fact that he knew that his past betrayal had marred their relationship? Or is it the nagging knowledge that John might be a better man?

The thought sent a thrill of unease down his spine. He shook his head clearing it from paranoia. He is her husband, and she's carrying his child, he's not going to let anyone break his family, or take her away from him. She was his. They would need to kill him first before he would let anyone hurt his family. Before anyone would take her away from him. 

Unless of course she wanted to leave him. He exhaled.

He watched as she sighed and turned her head on the pillow facing him, her palm curling against her cheek. A stray of lock of butter colored blonde hair fell across her closed eyelid. He must have made a sound, for she opened her eyes and looked at him. Her lips curled, "why are you not yet sleeping?" she asked. He need to make his claim, he need to make people know that there's nothing that will separate them.

"I forgot to tell you but I've already made an arrangement earlier, we'll be announcing that you are pregnant tomorrow." She smiled and nodded, then he moved adjusting her so she could sleep on his chest. When she settled, she rubbed her cheek on his shirt and she heaved a contented sigh.

He dropped a kiss on the top of her head. Then blocked the nagging truth that at the back of his head there's only one person that he wanted their announcement to reach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⊂(◉‿◉)つ I hope you enjoyed the update. Thank you again for all of your support! I know I must have been building up John here but I really want him to be at par with Bill in terms of vying for Hillary's affection. HAHAHA. 
> 
> Honestly, I still get disturbed whenever I remember how Bill cheated with Hillary (based on the books!). So I hoped that during those times she had a hero (or a wide shoulder to lean on hahaha!), you know, someone whom Bill might get jealous to. For those who are worried, of course this will still be Bill and Hillary. I ship them. I just wanted Bill to find his match. HAHAHA. ╭( ･ㅂ･)و


	4. Chapter 4

5:31 AM

5:32 AM

With a jolt, Hillary rolled out from Bill's embrace to run to the comfort room. Her stomach contracted so violently that she had no time to reach the toilet bowl when she threw up what she ate last night. She heaved again, and once more her stomach purged all of its contents—this time—into the bowl until she felt weak. She sank to her knees, and retched until her vomit was clear liquid. 

She took a deep breath, feeling her stomach churn, but then she felt Bill behind her. He was still wearing his grey boxers and white shirt that he slept on, his hair in disarray when he crouched beside her and started rubbing her back. He brought a towel with him when he reached the comfort room, and started wiping her mouth. "Are you okay?" He asked, his eyes gentle and sleepy. Hillary couldn't help but be touched. "You look beautiful," he told her with a lazy smile, that comment was so out of place that Hillary couldn't help but be torn between laughing or crying. Crying because her throat was sore, and laughing because of his attempt at humor. She knew she looks like a mess: her hair mussy from sleep, her eyes watery, and she probably had a few drool around her mouth. But here's her husband trying to make light of the situation, trying to make her feel comfortable and beautiful. She's definitely touched. He moved and started wiping her face. He tucked her hair behind her ear, then asked gently, "let me clean you up, okay?" She nodded.

He started the bath, testing the temperature, then he went to the laundry to take a dirty towel to clean her vomit off the floor. Hillary watched how her husband had taken care of the mess, and felt an incredible appreciativeness on his effort. While she settled in the bath and relaxed, Bill had started heating some water for her to drink after.

"Darlin'" he said "we can have someone bring up our breakfast here or do you want to go out?"

Silence.

Bill went to the comfort room to check on her when she didn't respond. He found her there relaxing, her head against the edge of the tub, her eyes closed. He went silently, and crouched next to her, and asked "are you feeling better now?" Hillary slowly opened her eyes and looked at him, "join me?" She asked. 

Oh, how he can deny her? If she asked for the world, he'll lay it on her feet. He nodded and pressed a tender kiss on her temple. He took off his shirt and undressed himself. She moved forward so he could settle behind her. Hillary exhaled when he joined her, the water sloshed out of the tub. She sighed when she leaned back against his chest. Bill dropped a lingering kiss on the crook of her neck, tasting her skin. "Do you have headache?" He asked whispering. Hillary nodded. She felt his hands moved to massage her temples. "I'll take good care of you, baby" he said her against her ear. She nodded. Bill moved his hands from massaging her temples to caressing her skin until he reached her stomach. He heard her made an intake of breath. Nearing her 4th week, she already had a slight bump on her stomach. Bill caressed it. "Knowing that a part of me is growing inside of you, really turns me on. You're sexy, beautiful—" Hillary closed her eyes as she bask on her husband's words said in his native accent, "you are perfect in my eyes, darling'." Hillary moaned, turned on by his devotion. Bill's moved his hand lower until he reached the apex of her thighs. He found her bare and smooth. He touched and caressed the skin there, not yet exactly where she wanted his fingers. "Do you understand, Hill?" He asked his voice husky. She was so lost in his touch that she didn't respond, Bill removed his fingers. "Hon—" she groaned in protest, her other hand reaching out behind her to touch his head. "Say it first." He told her, then he made biting kisses on her neck "say that you know, that to me, no one compares to you." She giggled, nodded, and extended her neck so he could have a full access on her flesh, "alright, I know," she reached out to grab his hand and she started playing with his fingers, "that to you, I am the only one." Then Bill moved his other hand so he could turn her head to look at him, "good" he said seemingly pleased. Then he lowered his head and kissed her slowly, relentlessly, while his fingers went back to the flesh between her legs, locating the cleft of her pleasure, stroking and teasing it, before plunging his finger deeply inside her. She pulled back her mouth to moan and catch her breath, only for Bill to sought it out taking her moans. He rubbed and stroked her until her body spasmed, her flesh contracting around his finger. She broke the kiss and instead thrown her head back as the pulsations shot through her, her pelvis arching up to meet his hand, then dropping back. The water sloshed until a generous amount of water had puddled just beside the tub. She was falling too fast, the pleasure was just too much. Bill pressed his lips on the column of her neck kissing, and sucking until her pleasure subsided. He released his kiss from her neck and touched his tongue on the mark that he left. He pulled back to look at her, "better?" He asked. She smiled lazily and gave him a gentle kiss. "What about you?" She asked concerned about his unspent desire, feeling him hard against her backside. Bill stared at her intently and said, "it's all about you this time, baby."

###

That morning they made their announcement through their representative. Announcement of pregnant personalities were always met with congratulations and well wishes. While they received a good amount of congratulations, flowers, and well wishes, there were some skeptics that had said that the baby must have been fathered by someone else.

But they had been so used this to stories being twisted, it almost made them laughed. They just decided to ignore it.

She was celebrating with her staff when a bouquet arrived for her in the office. "Look at that." One of her staff commented when a humongous bouquet was delivered. Huma took it from a staff and gave it to Hillary. "Was it from the President?" Someone asked. Hillary shrugged and looked at the card and read:

" _You are indeed full of surprises. Congratulations on the baby! — John K._ "

Hillary called him, and at first ring John picked up "so how are you holding up?" He asked. Hillary smiled hearing his cheerful voice.

"I'm fine, I had a bad case of morning sickness earlier." John stopped walking, uncomfortable knowing what she's going through. "Hey, I called because I got your flowers. They are beautiful." She said cheerfully. _Just as you are_ , John suddenly thought. But he kept it to himself. 

"Hey, why don't we see each other soon?" John invited.

"Yeah, I'd love that. Can I invite, Bill?" She asked, she didn't know but for some reason she held her breath. She knew that Bill and John was not close, but she wanted them to be friends because she knew they have certain similarities, and knew that they might be able to do some projects together in the future. But she was not certain that John would be comfortable.

John took a deep breath and said, "invite him if you want." 

"Yay!" Hillary exclaimed, ecstatic with the thought. "I'll so look forward to that."

###

Bill had attended a fraternity night for Democrats in New York, while he received congratulations, well wishes, and friendly jabs on his capacity to impregnate Hillary at their age, he saw from his peripheral that John was standing in the patio alone and seemingly lost in his thoughts. He decided to join him outside. "Cold night." Bill greeted. John turned his head to look at him, seemingly displeased that he was disturbed. "Cold night, indeed." He said gravely. Bill picked out a tobacco from the inside pocket of his coat and offered him one. John turned his eyes on what Bill was offering and took his offer. Bill handed him his lighter, and in a second John was huffing and puffing the cigar.

"Cuban?" John asked checking out the tobacco. "Yes, given to me by a friend as a congratulations." Bill told him flippantly. "I heard about the baby." John said after he puffed the cigar. Bill just smiled, "quite a surprise to us too to be honest." "So what are you doing here?" John interrupted as he huffed his cigar. "What do you mean?" Bill asked, John turned his body to face him "We're not friends, Bill. Let's cut the trivialities, why are you here?" He asked tersely. Bill kept his face straight, and didn't say anything.

John knew Bill went to approach him to gloat. "You're lucky you met her first." Bill raised an eyebrow, "what was that suppose to mean?" John took a long huff, then puffed the cigar enveloping them with the cloud of smoke. "It means have I met her first, she would have been mine." Bill gave a sardonic laugh at his claim. "That would remain a statement." John took a last huff, then dropped the cigar and stomped on it. "Unfortunately, yes. But make no mistake, because if you hurt her—" Bill held up his hands, cutting him, and said, "Do you really think that I would hurt her? I love her." John shrugged and said, "I already heard that. But did you really change?" John tilt his head to the side as if contemplating him, then said, "how many are they, Bill? 11? 20? Who are they? Monica, Juanita, Gennifer, Paula Jones, Kathleen Willey, Elizabeth, Sally, Dolly Kyle ...? I couldn't remember the rest. But amazing how you can fondle women, have them blow you in the same roof where your wife and daughter is sleeping." Bill suddenly took a step forward almost chest to chest with John. "Don't fuck with me, John." He said through his gritted teeth. John didn't flinch. "I'm not fucking with you, Bill. The truth is." Bill suddenly had to look around, and remembered that they are in public space. He ran his hand on his hair, and walked away from him, "most of them are an exaggeration," Bill said scathingly then he looked at him, "I don't expect someone like you to enjoy reading trashy tabloids. But as it seems you are interested in my affairs." John laughed. "You don't get it, Bill. I don't take track of your affairs. I kept track on how many times you keep on hurting and embarrassing her." Bill just stared at him. "Remember this Bill, I wouldn't hesitate to take her if you hurt her _this time_." John said emphasizing on 'this time'. "Take her and make her yours?" Bill asked sarcastically. John took a good look at him and said, "she's my friend." Bill rolled his eyes on his statement and said, "Stop hiding behind your friendship. Why don't you just say it—that you want her?" John seemingly to calculate his response, then he said, "you are correct. I want her. But unlike you I don't like her the way you like other women." "You love her then?" John looked at his watch seemingly couldn't wait to leave the place, then he said, "maybe I do. But I'm not going to force myself to her. I'm not going to ruin her marriage for my own gain. I have more integrity than that." Then he started to leave, but stopped like as if he had forgotten something, he turned around to say the last time, "you know, just to say, I may not force myself, but I'll be waiting. So make no mistake, because if you found her in my arms, it's because you drove her there." Then John walked out leaving him to contemplate his words.

###

When Hillary arrived on their place from work, she found their room to be dimmed. Moonriver was playing in the background. Bill was sitting on his leather chair near the window of their room, he was looking at the sky, a tumbler of whiskey on his hand.

Hillary went to him, crouched and touched his arm. "Are you okay?" She asked gently. Without looking at her he said, "John." She looked at him questioningly, "what about him?" Hillary asked, Bill dragged his gaze and looked at her. Hillary found something strange in his eyes, like as if she didn't know him. Then Bill spoke darkly and with finality, "I want you to stay away from him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (*´ω｀*) Yay, updated! Again, thank you for all your support and comments. It encourages me to continue. The next few chapters would be intense, though. I already had drafted them and this tug-of-war between Bill and John is killing me. ~~A part of me wants them to make out, that kind of intense. LOL WUT?~~ _Kidding_. But hold on to your seat, we are approaching the drama lane. I hope you like this chapter, and hoping to hear your thoughts. Have a nice weekend! (~￣³￣)~


	5. Chapter 5

Hillary looked at him surprised. "What?" She asked. She stood up, but Bill just maintained where he was seated. Hillary took a few step back and waited for him to say something. Her eyes wide with shock.

But Bill just met her eyes, then he swirled his tumbler and sipped down the remaining content. He stood up, turned to the window overlooking the city lights of New York. "John's single and you're married. I don't think a married woman being friends with a single man would do good to your reputation." Hillary gave an incredulous laugh. "You're a lousy liar, Bill. This is not about my reputation." She said then she started to pace angrily. Bill turned to look her. _No, it's me. It's the fact that I might lose you to him._ But Bill couldn't say it. His fear of losing her and his insecurities compared to the kind of man John was, was getting into his nerves, that fact and the amount of alcohol that he had consumed was clouding his judgement. "Hill, listen to me—" but he was interrupted by Hillary, her voice a notch higher. "No, you listen to me, Bill. I'm not sure what had gotten into you to make that decision, but John didn't do anything wrong for me to stay away from him."

Bill blinked, unsure what else to say. "Where were you before this?" She asked, her eyes narrowed, trying to figure him out. But Bill remained silent. "If you're not gonna tell me—" "I'm jealous" he said, he said it so quietly that she almost missed it. He looked up at the ceiling trying to keep his emotions at bay. "I couldn't help it, Hill. The sun is setting for me. You are a rising star, just as he is. So I'm afraid ... I might lose you to someone like him." He said defeated. He turned and went out to the balcony. He placed both of his hands in the railing feeling the cold night air breezing, softly ruffling his hair.

But it wasn't just that. The ultimatum that John mentioned shook him to his core, the base of his fear, but he couldn't say it. He couldn't admit it to Hillary, because seriously, what does that makes him? What would Hillary think of him? _What would John think of him?_

He felt her wrapped her arms around his waist embracing him from the back. "What do you mean you're jealous?" She asked. Bill didn't move. "John is available now, you might find him eventually fitting for you." Hillary laughed, her laughter muffled on his shirt, then she leaned her forehead against his back, "that's the craziest, stupidest thing I heard today." Bill turned without dislodging her arms. He leaned back against the railing in the balcony, and he put his arms around her shoulder pulling her body closer to his. "I seriously hate to admit it, but John is quite a caliber of a guy." He tipped her chin up making her look at him, then he cradled her face. "I love you so much, and I'd be so lost if I lose you." Hillary turned her head to place a kiss on the inside of his palm.

"You have to trust me, Bill."

"I trust you, I don't trust him."

"Please just trust me—"

Bill took a deep breath then straightened up, he dropped a chaste kiss on the top of her head. "I think you made your decision." He said and walked back to their room.

The night was cold, the room was still, and the silence was deafening. No whispering of good nights, no last minute jokes. There was an island separating them on their bed. Hillary and Bill slept with their back facing each other. Both of them waiting who would move first. Minutes had gone by, until it reached an hour. When they both realized that one of them wouldn't compromise, they settled with the distance and slept.

###

Bill couldn't concentrate on what was being said by the presenter in their Nigeria project. His mind was elsewhere. The presenter just finished his report for the updates on their water project in Nigeria, when his feedback for the reporter was asked.

"Dad—" Chelsea finally called. 

He snapped back his attention to them, and found that everyone was looking at him waiting for his comment. He cleared his throat and apologetically said, "I'm sorry I was distracted, what is it?" Chelsea took a deep breath and said, "the Water project in Nigeria is almost finished. It is projected to be done by next few weeks. There are contracts to be released after, and we'll be invited once it opens. Do you have any feedback on that report?" Bill rubbed his head, took a deep breath and said, "I'm really sorry. I'm quite distracted. May I ask if you can you hand me the contracts and the presentation? I'll review it in a while and give you my feedback on the email." 

Worried by his father's absent-mindedness, Chelsea approached him after the people had left the conference room, "what's bothering you dad?" Bill pursued his lips, took off his eyeglass and said, "I just had a disagreement with your mom last night." "What disagreement?" Bill took a good look at his daughter and realized how amazing young woman she had become. She had his intelligence and her mother's tenacity. A combination of them both, a product of their love. He reached out to touch her hand. "Nothing for you to worry about. It was petty. I'll drop by at her office later and fix things." Chelsea smiled. Then Bill shook his head laughing softly, "you know what? Just to say, I don't think I did something wrong to be the one to do the approaching." Chelsea laughed. "Dad, you know how these things work."

###

That late afternoon Hillary met up with John in a restaurant near her office. She wanted them to discuss their advocacies so they could plan the bills that they can co-sponsor.

He was already there when she arrived. He was wearing a three piece dark blue suit with a crisp white shirt and a light blue tie. His salt and pepper hair neatly arranged. She realized that he had more whites which was almost the same as her husband's. The thought made her throat tighten.

Earlier that morning they still did not talk. She was lucky that she didn't suffer from her morning sickness so she didn't have to ask for his help. But it made her feel uncomfortable knowing that they were not in good terms. Their argument is so petty that she couldn't believe that Bill would resort to that. _Seriously, jealousy?_

John stood up upon seeing her, gave her a friendly kiss on her cheek, and pulled the chair for her. 

"How are you?" John asked when they both settled on their seat.

"I'm fine, although I am already experiencing the effects of pregnancy." 

"You're positively glowing. Pregnancy becomes you." John said grinning.

Hillary smiled on his compliment. Hillary didn't spend more time in trivialities, and instead went to business immediately. They spent few hours talking about the bills they wanted to prioritize, and senators in their party whom they can ask to co-sponsor or support them. Hill enjoyed their conversation so much they did not realized it was almost 5 in the afternoon.

"I'm sorry to cut our conversation, but it's almost 5. I have to go back to my office. I have something else to take care of." Hillary said starting to stand up. John assisted her and escorted her outside. While they were waiting for her car, John asked, "So when are we going to have our dinner with your husband?" 

"I'm not sure, we're not really talking at the moment." Hillary said then regretted sharing that information. 

"Not talking? Something wrong?"

Hillary shook her head, "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that." John reached out for her wrist and searched her eyes. "Hill, listen to me. We're good friends. You can talk to me about anything. I'm always here for you. You only have to ask." John said using his signature phrase whenever she would ask something for him during her First Lady days. Hillary shook her head remembering his signature line. "It's really silly, but don't worry we'll be fine." John turned his body facing hers, and his gaze roamed around her face. "Can you promise me that if something bothers you—anything at all—will you tell me, please?" He asked. Hillary returned his gaze and found his intentions sincere. She felt captivated by his intense protectiveness for her. She wanted to ask why, but a part of her was afraid to know his answer. They stayed in that position with his hand holding her wrist, and the other holding her waist, they were standing close until her chauffeured car arrived. 

"I ... I have to go." She said suddenly feeling awkward.

"I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okay."

###

15 missed calls.

Hillary was still in her office past eight at night, she was so focused on the bill that she was reviewing that she didn't notice the time. She stretched her back, then continued reading when she heard a commotion outside her door. She didn't bother at all until someone rattled on the door knob profusely.

"Jesus Christ! I'll be there." She said shouting back.

She pulled the door so swiftly that the door swung wide open. "WHAT?!" She shouted. She found herself face to face with her husband, who was soaked from the rain. He was wearing a coat, his hair plastered down by the rain. His eyes hard. "Good you're alive." He said sarcastically. "What?" She asked shocked at his appearance. "I 'ave been callin' your phone for the past few 'ours, you ain't answerin' it." He said his native accent more prominent. She knew he's angry considering how he was spewing his words in his native accent. 

"I thought ..." She said not finding the words, she shook her head. He stepped inside her office, she closed the door and followed him. "You thought what? If you weren't pregnant, I swear, I'd have you on my lap by now with your backside smacked." She gaped at him. "No, you won't, you're not barbaric." She went to him and helped him take off his coat. "Of course that was an exaggeration. But I was tempted. You drove me crazy. 15 missed calls! It's 8 at night. I thought you were just not answering because you're still angry." "No, I didn't notice it because of the rain. You didn't call my agents?" She asked. Bill took a deep breath, "well ... Apparently when it comes to you my imagination goes wild. I didn't. I had to rush here." Hillary giggled at his admission. She brushed back his hair. "I missed you" she whispered. His eyes gentled, "I missed you too." It was impressive that any dispute that they have were most of the time short lived. Bill had forgotten that he was actually miffed by the fact that she did not want to stay away from John. He was so worried about her that the only thing he could think of was to get to her office and see her. He placed a kiss on her forehead and pulled her for an embrace, but she shrieked, "nooooo! You'll get me wet!" Bill laughed pulling her in spite of her protest, "oh, yeah? See for yourself, I'll get you wet later." She laughed.

###

Hillary was sitting on her side of the bed wearing her robe, reading her paper, with her black squared eyeglasses perched on the bridge of her nose. Her hair still wet from the shower. Bill emerged from the comfort room wearing his robe then headed on their bed, he crawled and laid his head on her lap.

He reached out for her hand so he can play with it. He was checking it out like as if it was the first time that he had seen it. Then he pressed a kiss on each of her fingers and said, "I love your small hands." Hillary laughed. He laid her palm against his. "They're really cute. Feminine, and it fits mine perfectly." She continued to read but stopped when he asked, "I went to your office earlier and they told me you were out. Where were you?" She put the paper down to look at him. It appears that he didn't have an idea where she was. Should she tell him? But she didn't want to ruin the moment by dropping John's name. "I had a late afternoon meeting." She said. "With a friend?" Bill pried.

She played it cool by just nodding. She didn't want Bill to know because she knew that it wouldn't please him. And it worked, because Bill didn't pushed for the identification of her _friend_. In truth, Bill wanted to know, but he didn't push for it because he remembered what she said: to trust her. Bill also decided to let it go because he didn't want to rock the situation by being suspicious. He thought that it's more important that he was able to patch things up because—well—he just couldn't live with her silence. So maybe he should just have some faith in her.

###

That night though while Hillary was enveloped in Bill's arms she couldn't shake off the nagging feeling that it felt like she was cheating on him. But she knew she wasn't. She was not even having an affair with John, in fact the lunch was even business-casual. But she couldn't shake it off. It bothered her because she knew she was hiding something he should know, even as small as that. If Bill finds out that it was John she went out with, even how platonic it was, he would be upset.

She made a movement that made Bill clutch her to him by impulse, his hands reflexing and unconsciously rubbing her growing belly. She sighed remembering how much Bill loves her. Maybe she should just tell him just to clear it off. She'll just handle the situation after.

It was 06:00 AM in the morning and Bill and Hillary were still asleep. Bill's phone beeped too many times during the early morning. Among the messages that he received while as sleep was a screenshot of an article from a celebrity gossip website. It was a picture of John and Hillary facing together after their lunch with his hand on her waist while the other was holding her wrist, both of them looking at each other with smile on their face.

And it's only a matter of time for him to read that message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⊂(◉‿◉)つ I hope you enjoyed the update. Thank you again for all of your support! I hope to hear your sentiments about this chapter. (o^-')b


	6. Chapter 6

It was past 7 in the morning and Hillary was hurrying up because she will be late in her 8 AM meeting, she was checking out her briefcase when Bill arrived back in their bedroom after he went out to talk to someone on his mobile phone. Bill started to pace agitatedly. He didn't know how he will start the conversation. But then Hillary was ready to leave and said, "Honey, I have to—" "you said that you went out with your friend yesterday?" Bill asked cutting her mid-sentence. 

Hillary stopped and suddenly had to shut her eyes.

 _Damn_. 

Does he already know?

Hillary took a deep breath and turned to look at him. But with what she saw in his wounded eyes, she knew that he already know. "It was John you went out with?" He asked severely. He ran his hands on his hair, when she didn't respond immediately.

Hillary straightened her back and said, "I can explain—" "I asked you last night" he said interrupting her again, his voice starting to raise. "I didn't—" "I asked you, and what did you say?" He waited for her to respond, but when she didn't, he proceeded. "No, of course you didn't say anything. Actually, it was so smart of you to omit his name by just shrugging it off." "Listen to me, Bill. We just had a lunch." "If it was just a lunch why did you feel that you had to keep the truth from me?" Again she didn't respond, so Bill pressed. "WHY? WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?" He demanded. "I'M NOT HIDING ANYTHING!" She answered meeting his voice, but she toned down when she added, "I didn't say his name because it's going to upset you!"

Bill looked at her dejected. Then he threw his phone in the bed just a few steps away from her. "Yeah, you're damn right it's gonna upset me. Why don't you check out the latest celebrity gossip site and see what they have to say about your lunch." 

Hillary looked horrified by the thought that they were photographed together. She reached out for his phone and looked at the article. The title was "Brewing Affair?" It included her photo with John outside the restaurant, and some stolen shot inside the restaurant. They also featured her and John when they were walking at the park with her surrounded by people having her photo taken, and John sitting relaxed on the bench at the park observing her. It was how he looked at her that gave way. It was affectionate. Just as how he held her outside the restaurant, and how they both gaze at each other. People would think that as if ... they were in love with each other. 

She scanned the article fast and what was written was even more incriminating. The images and how they were put together brought a chill down her spine. 

"This is not true." She said in a whisper, looking at him.

"When did you start seeing him?" He asked. But she caught the accusation in his voice.

"I'm not going to answer that because your question is implying something."

When he didn't say anything, she approached him. _Damn she really needs to leave now. She'll be really late._

"Bill, please" she said searching his gaze, hoping she could see that he would let this go. He looked at her squarely.

"Next, after this secret rendezvous, I won't be surprised if your start fucking him behind my back."

A crack of slap echoed in their room. Her palm meeting his cheek. The slap was so hard that Bill's head snapped sideways, his cheeks beet red.

"I'm not like you, Bill." She said through gritted teeth. Her tears suddenly rolled down her cheeks unchecked.

"I know how this works, Hill. I know how this works."

"Yeah well apparently with how much you fucked behind my back—"

"Don't go there, Hill—"

"I can't?"

"Because this isn't about me, this is about you and the fact that you kept something from me."

"Bill, please trust me—" but she regretted using that word. Considering how she kept the truth from him.

Bill looked at her, "trust" he snickered. Hillary knew that she had to leave now because she had a more pressing matter to attend to. 

"Let's talk about this later, I really have to go." She said starting to leave. But she stopped when Bill said roughly, "I'll let this go, but take my hand and stay away from him." 

Hillary turned her head to the ceiling. Now, that's something she can't do. Not when her senate plans were already on the go. She can't back down now. Besides, she needs John and his experience and allies considering that she's a junior there. "Don't make me choose, Bill. My friendship with John is pivotal to my success too in Senate." But Bill will have none of it. He extended his hand. 

The moment he did, Hillary remembered how he did it back when they were in Arkansas, when she arrived home. He extended his hand to welcome her home, "darling—" he said.

Now he was extending his hand not to welcome her, but to make her choose. How different the scenario was. How different the feeling was.

When she didn't move, Bill pressed harder. "Either you take my hand and choose me or leave this room and put us both out of our misery."

Hillary met his gaze and knew Bill was serious in his warning. But she can't. In the first place there shouldn't be any choices. Not for the wrong reasons. She shouldn't be choosing, not when the whole story was taken out of context and had blown out of proportion.

"I'm not gonna choose because you are misunderstanding things." Then she walked out. 

Bill was so hurt and angry that he threw his phone hitting their lamp. 

Hillary heard something broken, but she proceeded.

###

Bill was still pissed when he arrived on his office, only to be told that his flight in Nigeria is to take off by next 5 hours.

"Why are you still here?" His partner, Peter Anderson said when he saw Bill in the hallway. 

"Have you forgotten that you have a flight going to Nigeria?"

 _Shit._ He literally had forgotten about it considering that he was distracted when the report for Nigeria was being presented. Bill had to hurry back in their hotel to pack his bags. He called his driver to prepare the car. He stormed into his office first to get his important files, clumsily packing them in his briefcase.

When he got back to their hotel he started getting his clothes and packing them in hurry. His aide helped him prepare his luggages. Shit. He thought, what a fucking nightmare! He was all over the place. He's not the kind of person who crams but here he is cramming. He immediately got into the car and headed to the airport, and on the way he realized that he wasn't able to mention his flight to Hillary. 

_Gaddammit to hell_

This is not how he imagine his day would turn out to be. Considering that his phone was broken he had to borrow his aide's phone to call Hillary.

8 rings, no answer.

21 attempted calls. All he was getting was voicemail.

_Fuck!_

###

During the time that Bill was calling, Hillary was on her meeting. Her phone was turned to mute. Her day was so packed that she didn't have time to check her phone.

It was nearing lunch when Chelsea arrived on her office. "Mom!" She called. Chelsea sauntered towards her with a smile on her face. "How are you?" "I'm fine. I was suppose to join dad in Nigeria but he told me to stay behind to look after you. Shall I move my bags to your hotel?" She asked innocently. Hillary looked at her over her eyeglass. "What do you mean Nigeria?" Chelsea returned her gaze puzzled. "Dad has a flight in Nigeria today. Didn't you know?" "No, I didn't. He didn't tell me." Hillary pulled her phone only to see how many missed messages and phone calls she had from his aide. 

_Oh my, God. He can't leave knowing that they have unfinished discussion._

"Chel, what time is his flight?" Hillary asked starting to stand up. She called their driver. Chelsea responded with, "an hour and thirty from now." "Prepare the car, Greg. I have to go." She instructed. "We need to catch your dad's flight." 

Hillary was filled with anxiety by the thought that she might miss his flight. "How long will your father stay there?" She asked. "About two weeks." _Two weeks is too long for unsettled problem._

She needs to see him. With the way they ended their conversation, she knew it would only get worst if they wouldn't be able to settle their issue before he goes to Nigeria. She was already thinking what she could do to fix whatever rift they have. She was already planning to take a flight if all else fails. 

"Can you reach any of them?" She asked. Her phone already dead. "No, mom." "Where will he stay in Nigeria?" She asked. "A local hotel was arranged for him. But I believe at one point dad mentioned that he wanted to check out a remote community in Nigeria called Noubou. I believe the target was for the foundation to help the community build school and develop it." "If he did that, it would require more than two weeks." Hillary said. "No, mom the plan for this flight is for the water project. I'm sure dad will be home by two weeks." 

By two weeks she's already 6 weeks pregnant. Her tummy slightly bigger. Unconsciously she rubbed her belly. Chelsea noticed it. She reached out to touch her mother's hand. "Don't worry, everything will be alright, mom." 

_Oh, how she prays for everything to be alright._

Please, Bill. Don't leave yet. You can't leave at this moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if you guys were keeping track, but for the past few chapters we were able to feature some of what I have indicated in the summary: A new life, a heart attack, a bomb threat, an angry jealous husband, a wife chasing after (the said) husband, a broken lamp, a flying pan [?], a two middle aged man in a fist fight, a broken heart, and a kiss under the rain. In this chapter the broken lamp, a jealous angry husband, and a wife chasing (the said) husband was featured. I'm not sure if you are taking notice but I thought I'd point it out. Some of them were already featured too. It's for fun. HAHA. o(^-^)o
> 
> The scene about Bill reaching out his hand, took place in the Chapter 11 of [Back to You](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8792074/chapters/20670178) exactly on the part when Hillary arrived in their home in Arkansas.
> 
>  ~~The next few chapters might be heavy [?] to other Billary fans. But don't worry we'll make it through the chapters unscathed.~~ Kidding. 
> 
> ⊂(◉‿◉)つ I hope you enjoyed the update. Thank you again for all of your support! I hope to hear your sentiments about this chapter. (o^-')b


	7. Chapter 7

**Lagos, Nigeria - 06:00 AM**

_Beep._

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Murtala Muhammed International Airport. Local time is 6:00 in the morning and the temperature is 82 °F. —"

Bill slowly opened his eyes and gazed outside the window next to him. The orange hues of sunrise in Lagos, Nigeria greeted him. In his usual flights related to their projects in the foundation, Bill would feel a certain thrill, a certain excitement. But at that moment, he was morose. He didn't exactly like how he left. He might be angry at Hillary, and hurt that she chose her ambition and friendship to John over him, but leaving without saying a proper goodbye was not his personality. It's just not him.

Bill was greeted by delegates considering he was a Former President. He was also greeted by US Ambassador. Bill endured the customary for these types of events, but honestly, the only thing he couldn't wait for was a mobile phone so he could call Hillary. 

He knew that it will take him few hours before he can get an access to a mobile phone. Well, first, the time difference between Nigeria and New York is 6 hours. Nigeria being 6 hours ahead, so he needs to wait for a decent time to call her.

###

**New York, New York - 09:00 AM**

The rays of the morning light filtered through the curtains of her window directly shining on her face. Hillary slowly blinked too many times to help her eyes adjust on the brightness. She rubbed her cheek on the pillow inhaling the scent that still carries Bill's cologne. She chose to sleep on his side of bed to accompany her through the night.

To say, she particularly dislikes his side of the bed because the morning light directly shines on her face. But he likes it though, he said it's his "alarm clock".

The thought of him brought fresh tears on her eyes. She embraced his pillow as she wept on his absence.

Yesterday, she tried to catch his flight only to miss it by few minutes. She was hurrying up on the airport only to be met by his aide to tell her that he had already departed. The aide told her that he tried to call her and Chelsea but it wasn't going through. Hillary asked if Bill had left any message, but the aide just shook his head.

Hillary was glad that Chelsea was with her. It hurts her that they had to go through this situation. It hurts her that he didn't even bother to tell her that he had to leave. No goodbyes, no anything. Like as if he didn't care. She tried to contain her emotion from spilling over in a public place, but when she got back into the car she allowed herself to succumb to her emotions.

She wept.

Chelsea had to hold her as she cried uncontrollably. She poured her hurt, her sudden longing. She cried too many times during the night that she felt that there's no more tears to shed, until she fell asleep.

Now, she was suffering from the effects of her pain: migraine, puffy eyes, and body ache.

"Mom?" Chelsea called peeking through the door. Hillary didn't move, but hearing Chelsea's voice just made her tear up again. When Chelsea heard her soft sob, she directly went to her.

"Mom ..." Chelsea said sitting on the edge of the bed next to her. Chelsea started rubbing her arms. "Mom, you can't keep crying here. I'm sure dad has a good reason why he didn't tell you. I told you he might have forgotten." Thinking about it, it wasn't just how Bill left without saying a word that hurt her, but the fact that he doesn't trust her. When Hillary didn't respond, Chelsea coaxed her by saying, "Mom, you need to stop stressing yourself out. You're pregnant." Hillary wiped her tears and suddenly remembered that she can't continue doing this to herself. She smiled through her tears and she allowed herself to be pulled by her daughter for embrace. 

"You're right. Don't worry I'll get through this. I've been through the worst." She said, and Chelsea smiled softly encouraging her.

###

**Lagos, Nigeria - 03:00 PM**

Bill was able to use a phone in US Embassy. He attempted to call Hillary 13 times only to have his call fail to reach her. _What the hell?_ He thought. Bill gripped the bridge of his nose holding his temper. He was running out of patience because, first, he was tired. Second, the heat in the country was terrible. He felt sticky. He had been sweating on his shirt. And now this? "Gaddamn!" He said roughly on the phone. He looked at the people with him and nodded an apology for swearing. 

He decided to call her office instead. After few attempts he was able to get through. After a few rings someone answered. "Hello, is Hillary there?" "I'm sorry sir, but mrs. Clinton went out." Bill frowned. "Where's she?" "Senator Kerry arrived earlier to pick her up, she didn't tell us where she went though." Bill hangup he didn't have to hear the rest. 

He almost had the urge to throw the phone in rage. He went out of the room. He paced then brushed his hair using his hand in annoyance. "Shit." He said. So she's still seeing him? The fuck? Didn't she even know that he had already left? Didn't she fucking care? He had been crazy looking for a phone to reach her, only to know that she went out with John. He felt disgusted with the thought. Trust her she said. Hell with trust.

He went back to the room and called the office of his lead secret service.

###

**New York, New York - 07:30 PM**

Hillary was wondering why Bill hasn't called yet. But she didn't really want to think about him that much because every time she thought of him, she ends up getting hurt. So she directed her focus on her work and on the things that she needs to take care of. One of the items that she needed to take care was the article spreading rumors about her and John. She had setup a meeting with John, and earlier they had the chance to talk personally, they discussed about the article. But on their meeting they made sure that they were not alone. Hillary was glad that John took the initiative to take an action by telling her that his office would call the celebrity gossip website to clear it off. 

Hillary knew that John wanted to talk to her considering the curious glances that he was giving her. She knew that he was worried by seeing how surprised he was when he saw her earlier. He must have noted her haggard look. But she did not stay longer than necessary on their meeting. She didn't really feel like talking to anyone. She thanked John and told him that she had deadlines to meet. She was glad that John didn't press and had let her go easily. 

Hillary was scribbling on the paper when she heard a knock on her door. Her head jerk. Hope blossomed in her chest. Bill? She thought. Did he cancel his trip and went back instead so they could patch things up first? She stood up. Her heart beating fast. 

When the door opened and the person on the other side pushed the door open, Hillary's heart sank. It was John. "John" She said surprised. John pushed open the door and faced her with a lazy smile on his face. Standing afar from her, Hillary took a quick observation on him and realized how far different he was from her husband. They might be sporting the same salt and pepper hair, but their mannerisms were so far different. Bill was more relax, while John was more firm. Bill smiles generously, John gives his with reservations. Bill was more playful which she likes the most, and John more serious. 

"Can I come in?" He asked, Hillary returned his smile and said, "of course." John went to where she was standing and stood next to her. "I'm sorry I had to drop by, I went to your place and Chelsea told me that you're not yet home, and that you are still working. I thought I'd check you out." Hillary smiled, though her smile didn't reach her eyes. John noticed. 

"Where's Bill?" He asked, "He's in Nigeria for a project." "I see." They stood there awkwardly. Hillary was trying to avoid his gaze by looking at the wall behind him. But John noticed it too so he opted to move to make her comfortable. He moved around and pointed on the chair in front of her desk, "can I sit?" "Yeah, sure." Having him sit there and noticing how small the chair was for him, Hillary remembered Bill. 

She remembered how he playfully gripped her chin, when she teased him when he said that he'll wait for her, and how he responded in his accent, "why, of course, ain't gonna leave my girl alone workin'."

It felt like centuries when that happened.

"You might be wondering what I am doing here." John said breaking her from her thought. "Not particularly, but why?" She asked. "Are you done working?" He asked looking at her papers. She looked down at the papers that she was writing on. "Actually, I think I am done now. I was only writing for my speech tomorrow. But I think I can take them at home." "Do you want to walk instead of taking your car? We can have our cars tail behind us." He said giving her a boyish smile. She returned it by saying, "I think that's a grand idea."

He walked her back to her hotel but he realized that she wasn't wearing her gloves. "Where are your gloves?" He asked. "I've left them home I didn't expect that I'd walk going back." He laughed softly then he turned to her and took off his. "Give me your hand." "No, John you don't have to." John shook his head. "It's pretty cold, I invited you out. I might as well keep you from freezing to death." Hillary gave a quiet laugh. "Now, you're being silly." John looked at her and his eyes gentled when her smile lingered. "I'm glad to make you laugh." He said. Then he gently slip on the gloves on her hand one by one. 

Hillary took the opportunity to pay attention to his hands. John's hands were large they were manly. Huge. Not as handsome as Bill's. Bill's were like those of surgeon or pianist. There's something so sophisticated with his hands and fingers. His wrist were narrow, and his fingers were long, and his nails were long and square just right. John's were just big. It wasn't ugly but really just manly. If Bill's hands were smooth and sophisticated, John's rough and manly. 

When John finished slipping them on, they both smiled gently at each other and proceeded to walk. They kept a decent distance. John had his hands inside his pocket preventing himself from reaching out to touch her. Hillary kept hers tucked across her chest. "So you better tell me what's going on." John said breaking the silence. "Was it obvious?" She asked looking down at her steps. "The way you avoided me earlier, and how puffy your eyes were earlier in our meeting? It's pretty obvious you had a rough night. What is it?" He asked. Hillary sighed, "I think you already have an idea what we fought about. Well ... first, it was my fault because when we had a lunch last time to talk about our advocacies and plans for Senate, he went to the office only to be told that I was out. He asked me who I was with, and I didn't tell that it was you." She said still looking down on the floor and would casually look ahead. John took a glance at her. "But why didn't you tell that it was me?" Hillary took a deep breath and said "Bill's a little jealous of you." John gave a snicker. Hillary looked at him sideways. "It's not funny John." He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry about that." Hillary proceeded, "I didn't actually want him to be upset. We just had an argument the night before he asked that, so I didn't want to ruin the moment that we had, so I didn't say it." "What does it have to do with Nigeria?" They rounded a corner. "Well, when he left to Nigeria he didn't tell me about it. He just left." John stopped. "He just left?" He asked in disbelief. "Yeah." "What an ass!" "I shouldn't be telling you this." Hillary said regrettably. Then John held her arm making her turn to him. "I told you, I'm your friend. You can tell me whatever it is that's bothering you. I'll always be here." His comfort and gentleness was so unexpected that it touched her. Unchecked, a tear rolled down her cheeks. John reached out to wipe it away. "Please don't cry." He pleaded, then he pulled her in an embrace.

###

It was past 13 days when Bill left and he hasn't called yet. Word passed that it was tough to call where he was. Hillary just stopped thinking about it. By then Hillary was nearing her 6th week in pregnancy although her tummy wasn't still _that_ visible yet when she wear her clothes, but she could see it growing already. It wasn't a discomfort but she was looking forward to seeing her baby out. How she cope alone was not really tough. Hillary had been used to tough things in life that carrying her pregnancy alone wasn't really a big deal. Well at least for now. Her morning sickness usually happens though. But she had been used to it that she already know how to handle it. She was also glad for Chelsea who had been accompanying her to the hospital for her check ups. The people who had been around her, had been very supportive and caring that it made her pregnancy and being alone not a burden.

One day though unexpectedly she received a call from an unregistered number. She was at home in Chappaqua preparing a simple breakfast when her phone rang. She took it on the 3rd ring. 

"Hello?" She asked.

_Beep._

The caller just hangup. 

Then there's that call again, she took it after a few rings. "Hello?" She asked her voice hitched a little from annoyance. A static, then she heard _his_ voice.

"Hi." Bill said on the other end. Hillary had to grip the edge of the table counter to keep her balance. "Hillary?" Bill asked. "Yes, Bill?" She asked her voice broke a little. Then there's silence. It's as if they don't know how to pick up the conversation again. "How are you?" He asked. "I'm ... I'm fine." She said. _Silence_. "How ... How are you?" She asked, she turned around her back against the table. She was clutching the phone hard. 

At the moment she doesn't know what she was feeling: a mixture of anger, annoyance, longing, and sadness. Bill, on the other hand, was confused too. He didn't know why he even bothered to call. She probably didn't want to hear from him. He clutched the papers on his table sent to him by the lead secret service agent. "I'm ... I'm fine, Hill." He said, his voice almost a whisper. Little he did know his tears just started to fall uncontrollably. "Okay" Hillary responded not knowing what else to say. She wanted to ask a lot of questions but she didn't want to test their relationship anymore by bringing something up on the phone. She knew that if they have to settle something they need to settle it in person. "How was the Water Project?" She asked. "It was good, we have reports about it. It was already sent to the foundation. You'll get an update about it. Chelsea knew about it." He said. _Silence_. Then he added, "listen, I'm sorry but I can't stay long. I have a very limited time to use this phone, but I called because I wanted to .... " he said, his voice breaking. "I wanted you to know, I'm sorry about how I left. I shouldn't have left like that. I ... I ... I had forgotten that I had a flight in Nigeria. I only knew about it—" "Bill, it's okay. Your partner Peter Anderson told the story to Chelsea. I figured you must have forgotten." Bill closed his eyes and nodded. "Okay" he breathed through the phone, then he added, "hey, I want you to know, I won't be home this coming." "What do you mean?" Hillary asked "I have to extend. I'll be going to Noubou it's a small remote community here in Nigeria." "But when will you be back?" Hillary asked, her voice panicked. "I won't be home for the next few months, maybe 7 or 8." "8 Months?!" She exclaimed her voice raising. "I'm so sorry—" Then Hillary couldn't hold it anymore, she asked, "are you doing this because you are still angry at me? Are you deliberately doing this to torture me?" "No, no you don't understand—" But before he could even explain himself the phone just died. He tried to call again but his call was no longer going through.

###

**Lagos, Nigeria - 09:00 PM**

John Podesta who joined Bill in Nigeria found him alone in his room's balcony. They were staying in a small local hotel. A hotel that they stayed in which was near to their water project doesn't really offer that much accommodations. But it has nice local beers and a decent aircon to cool the room. Bill's room has a nice view where they were, at night though they couldn't see that much in horizon. It was just pitch black. But the view of the stars were amazing.

"You shouldn't be sitting there, with that pitch black you might get shot." 

"Do you think that someone would be interested to kill me?" Bill said laughing in spite of himself.

"Are you sure you wouldn't be going home tomorrow?" 

Bill took a gulp of the local brewed beer. "Nope." Bill offered him a bottle which John took. John pulled the chair nearby so they could stare at the sky. John noticed that Bill had a few rounds already, and by how he looks, he must be inebriated already. "Are you going to leave your pregnant wife alone?" John asked almost passing it by as a joke. Bill leaned his head back to stare at the sky. Will she see what he's seeing right now? If the night falls in New York, will she see the set of stars that he was seeing? Will she share it with Kerry? He thought. John Podesta noticed that Bill's tears just rolled down his temples. John ignored it, when he took a sip of his beer. He grimaced looking at the beer, "what the hell is this?" Then John heard Bill speak. "I'm not leaving her alone, she's with John Kerry if you know." Bill said, feeling his throat tighten. John noticed that his throat was working. Bill handed him the report of his lead secret service. 

John looked at the papers and set of pictures. The pictures were pictures of John and Hillary together. So apparently, Bill had asked a special favor to his lead agent and friend if he could have someone follow Hillary and John and if they can send a report to him via courier. The pictures combined the report made Bill decide to postpone his flight back. He mulled over it. As it seems Hillary and John had grown closer for the past few days. It was reported that John would visit Hillary at off hours of her work in her office which Bill used to do, how they would share walks going home, and a picture where they were sharing an embrace. It crushed Bill to know that she might find someone to replace him soon. 

He bit his lips suppressing his sob when he suddenly remembered what they talked about in his porch back in Arkansas:

_"What?! After all we have been through. You're letting me go?" She said disbelievingly. He laughed and pressed a kiss on her cheeks. "I love you that much I am considering to let you go."_

The reason why he wanted to stay in Noubou was so she could choose if she wants to leave him afterwards and be with John, or stay with him. He remembered what he had said then " _I've come to discover something. It's that I don't want to be selfish, not to you or to your happiness. You don't know how willing I am to give you everything._ "

But that doesn't stop him from hurting. With what he had known, he wanted to be far from where they were. He wanted to find comfort here in Nigeria, and maybe he would find it there in Noubou. But then something occurred to him that brought fresh tears on his eyes, that made him pressed his hands on his face it's the thought that if Hillary chose John they would have to battle for the custody for their child. Bill's heart broke a thousand more.

###

**7 months passed**

Hillary was in the Capitol in her office in Senate when her aide told her that someone was waiting for her in her office. A certain Doctor Sanjaya Gupta. Hillary was trying to remember if she met the doctor some time ago but couldn't remember. When she reached her office, Doctor Sanjaya immediately stood up. By the looks of it, Doctor Sanjaya is probably from India. His hair cropped short, his skin dark, he was wearing a while coat and a white pants. He was holding a hat, and a briefcase.

Doctor Sanjaya took a good look at a very pregnant Mrs. Clinton. "Senator" He greeted. Although, he might resemble someone who lives in India, his accent was heavily English. Hillary smiled, "please doctor take a sit." When he sat on the seat that he was occupying, Hillary asked, "do you want something to drink?" Doctor Sanjaya responded, "no, it's okay senator. Someone already had offered one to me earlier." "So what brings you here Doctor?" She asked skipping the trivialities, she was looking at her list of appointments, but stopped when Doctor Sanjaya announced: "Senator, I'm a doctor in a small clinic in Noubou, Nigeria. Your husband sent me here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, this chapter was supposed to end when John Kerry embraced Hillary. But I opted not to because I didn't want to distress some Billary fans. This chapter was also supposed to be longer but I'm hitting 4K words already. I'm so worried that-you as a reader-might find it exhausting. Seriously, though, I cannottttt waittttt to get through this chapter! I just want Hillary and Bill to be o.k.a.y. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ But not yet, not on this chapter. I'm sorry, but please hold on. Hold on with me. (ಥ﹏ಥ) I'll make your wait worth while. ❤
> 
> Note: The scene when Hillary remembered how Bill gripped her chin when John came to her office happened in [Chapter 2](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9157510/chapters/20865089). While the scene when Hillary remembered when they talked at the porch back in Arkansas happened in the [Epilogue](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8792074/chapters/20749885) in Back to you.
> 
> Again thank you for all the love! Those kudos and comments are like free beers. HAHAHA. Anyway, the next chapter will be posted some time this Tuesday or late Monday. Have a great time friends. ⊂(◉‿◉)つ ❤


	8. Chapter 8

When Hillary stopped and just stared at Doctor Sanjaya, he apologized. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to surprise." "No, it's okay. I just didn't expect. But please, go ahead. What do you mean that my husband sent you here?" Doctor Sanjaya smiled a little and picked his briefcase and opened it, he handed a letter to her. Hillary took the letter from him and with shaky fingers she opened the letter and read it. The paper was worn and crumbled. Doctor Sanjaya noticed her reaction, so he added, "I'm sorry if the letter is in not good condition. It went through a lot." Hillary just smiled.

> _Dearest Hillary;_
> 
> _I wish I could tell things to you without confusing or causing you any pain with this letter. I am sorry if I couldn't call, but circumstances prevented me from reaching out to you, particularly where I live. I know that we both had hurt each other. The last time we talked you asked me if my decision to stay for another few months was a result of my anger and if I was deliberately hurting you, but I had a better reason. I know I owe you an explanation which I will gladly give to you personally. All I ask is if you can wait for me._
> 
> _Always yours,_
> 
> _Bill_

Hillary drags her gaze from the letter back to Doctor Sanjaya who was looking at his hands. "You were with my husband?" She asked devoid of any emotions. "If you may Senator maybe we could go somewhere I could tell you the life in Noubou which Bill told me to share with you." Hillary looked at him, she almost had the urge to ask him what made you think that I am interested to hear it? But she was curious, and she's not the kind of person who would easily be dictated by her emotions. So she took a look at her list of appointments. "I have an hour to spare. We can go to the nearby coffee shop." 

###

They took the corner table in the coffee shop just across the Senate building. Hillary was torn between getting angry and being curious, she hated how Bill had left for 7 months without even a word. Her trail of thought was cut when the waitress served their drinks. Hillary looked up, "thanks," she told the lady.

"Did my husband sent you to tell me a story?" She asked sarcastically. "He was gone for 7 months now. The last time we have talked he was not able to explain why he wanted to stay there for 8 months." Doctor Sanjaya cleared his throat. "I'm not sure why he wanted to stay in Noubou, but I have a partial clue what made him stay, the rest, though, I believe is something that's not for me to share." Doctor Sanjaya looked at her waiting for his information to sink in. But Hillary just returned his gaze with a straight face. So Doctor Sanjaya proceeded "Your husband will be the one to share them when he gets home. I believe the last time we have seen each other he was already preparing to go home, but he had to delay because of the situation in the community." Hillary looked up at the ceiling trying to contain her emotion. The community might need him, but didn't he think that she needed him too? "Well, to say, first, Noubou was located on a remote mountain in Nigeria. It's one of the poorest smallest community in the country. There are no telecommunications, and post-office is not available. Even getting water is hard. It's an isolated place. It's a poverty stricken place just because it's so far out of reach. When your husband arrived he didn't realize how far worse the place was. I think it was already late that he realized that there's no going back." Hillary stared at him encouraging him to go on. "When he arrived, the community leader, with the help of an interpreter, had told him about the situation. The death toll of that community is quite bad. Children and adults were dying because of lack of access of food, and water. We took care of the sick people, our clinic was set up by the doctor volunteers from England. With your husband's presence I think that the people thought that he was some sort of a superhero, so to speak." Doctor Sanjaya smiled seemingly remembering something. "I believe your husband felt obliged to stay because he was the community's last hope." Hillary raised her perfectly shaped brow and asked, "what is the government doing? This should be their problem not my husband's." "The Government was not doing anything because basically, they do not earn anything from the community. Plus, the access there was hard. I believe the government was sort of leaving the community to die. It was a small community anyway, in a remote place. Who would care?" But Bill cared, she thought. Bill had always been like that: a public servant through and through, he would lay down his life to serve, who would sacrifice himself to help others, even leave his pregnant wife alone. Hillary shook her head trying not to be overly dramatic or emotional.

Ever since they had dedicated themselves to public service they already knew the demand of their "job", that sometimes it would be necessary for them to sacrifice themselves in order to serve those who needed help. In their case, though, she hoped that she knew about this. "What did my husband do there?" "He was all over the place. He was with the local engineer who went with him and had checked out how they can make the water be accessible to the people, he also taught the community leaders of basic human rights law that they can demand their government. He, with others, went back and forth on the nearest government agency to ask for help. I think he tried to even get attention to the community by using his previous position as the President of the United States. It worked, though, few months after, he got some help. It was a small help but at least the community started to move."

Doctor Sanjaya took a sip of his latte then said, "not to worry you, but besides the fact that he was working hard to help the community, the climate in the country was hard for someone who's not used to it, like your husband. He got sick most of the time." Hillary looked up at him alarmed. "But don't worry it wasn't anything worse. His body was just adjusting on the temperature. But it's quite admirable he sometimes would work even with a fever." "Who took care of him?" She asked worriedly. "He took care of himself. It's quite admirable really."

Hillary was stirring her drink with the straw absentmindedly trying to take in what Doctor Sanjaya told her when she suddenly looked up when he said, "he talks a lot about you." Doctor Sanjaya cleared his throat like as if he was uncomfortable sharing the information. "He would always think about what you would have thought if you were there, and he would randomly share a story about you. We were so tired listening to his story of you." Hillary smiled, then he added "He kept a picture of you, though. I saw that he would take a look at your picture every once in a while when he thinks that no one is looking." That information brought a sudden hope on her chest.

They talked some more explaining the condition of the community to Hillary, now she was seeing a part of the whole picture. Although she noticed that sometimes Doctor Sanjaya would keep some information like he would abruptly stop and try to find a way to say something else. Plus he left something off so she asked, "why keep some of the information?" Doctor Sanjaya was starting to stand up to leave, "there's a delicate situation that your husband stumbled upon in Nigeria. I don't think it's my position to say something about it." He was about to go when he stopped like as if he had forgotten to say something, then he added gently, "I'm not sure what's going on between the two of you, but it seems your husband was desperate for me to reach you because he said that you have no idea at all about his journey in Nigeria. I'm not sure if my information was somehow helpful. I just hope Senator Clinton that you look beyond what it seems to be and that you can find it in your heart to forgive him over time because your husband's a good person and he loves you." Then he nodded, and left.

Hillary took the time to think about what Doctor Sanjaya revealed. She no longer didn't know what to feel. But she had been through this. She could not make any decision without knowing the full truth. She now understands what made him stay for 8 months there but what drove him to make that decision?

Initially, what she knew is that Bill was supposed to take a 2-week stay and Chelsea had been certain of that. The project in Noubou has not yet even started but at the last minute he decided to check it out entangling him in circumstances and commitment that had complicated their situation.

Wait for me, he said

She'll give him that, and he better hurry up.

###

**Chappaqua, New York**

Bill stepped out of the service car that the secret service had arranged. He was supposed to announce his departure in Nigeria so his company could have arranged a service for him but he waved them off. He instructed the secret service to arrange a service car for them instead. During the course of his stay in Nigeria, he knew he had broken too many protocols that he knew he would have to pay for. He would deal with the agency later this week.

Well, to say he had broken a lot of things in the past few months he was surprised, to be honest, that he made it in front of his home alive.

It was heavily raining outside and Hillary was enjoying her dinner with her close friends when they heard the siren of the secret service from afar. At first, they did not bother, they continued sharing stories but then they heard a knock which someone from the secret service took care of.

Hillary was laughing with the stories that their close friend was sharing when Bill stepped into the dining room.

Everyone literally stopped, shocked at his arrival. Hillary's eyes were wide as saucers. Her mouth slightly open in surprise. No one moved for a couple of second until Chelsea did. "Dad!" She called breaking the spell, and stood up ready to go to him. "Bill when did you arrive?" Their friend and neighbor Kevin Anthony asked. But Bill's eyes landed on Hillary observing her. He didn't even notice the presence of others because he was focused on her and what had changed. Chelsea moved to go to him, when suddenly Hillary pushed the chair back, stood up, and walked out.

Hillary didn't know where to go, she knew Bill would follow her. She couldn't see him right now. Not when she was hurt with how he left her without any words. Not when she had gone through hell alone without him. No, he can't do this to her again. She rounded the corner until she ended up going to the kitchen. She heard Bill's footfalls catching up on her. When she arrived in the kitchen she realized she had nowhere to go, then she heard Bill spoke.

"Hillary stop!"

She stopped, but next thing she knew she was throwing the pans to him. She was so enraged that all the pans that she could pick were flying at him. Bill dodged. The people who had been with them followed to watch the commotion. "Hill stop!" He called still dodging the pans. When he was near enough to reach, Hillary had swung the wok pan hitting him squarely on the head that the people who had seen it grimaced. That definitely hurt.

"You bastard!" Hillary shouted. She was cussing and swearing at him that would bring any sailors to shame. "Stop it!" He said as he fought to take the pan from her hand. He successfully twisted the pan from her hand, but then she started clubbing him with her arms, scratching and hitting him. He held both of her arms, she turned with her back to his front. Unfortunately, in this position, he ended up successfully wrapping his arms around her to restrain her from hitting him. "Get off me, you shit!" She shrieked as she tried to shake him off. But he held her firmly. She fought until she got exhausted fighting him. Bill heard her soft sob and knew that she started crying. Knowing that their friends were looking at them he shouted, "GET OUT OF HERE!" They scrambled out, the secret service took care of the people. Chelsea was left standing there, "dad" she said quietly. "You too, Chel. I'm sorry but please leave us alone at the moment. I'll see you tomorrow. I'm sorry, please tell them that I'm sorry for ruining the dinner."

When they were left alone, he still had his arms around her. "Get your arms off me, Bill." She said through gritted teeth. "No, not until you say that you'd hear me." "I'm not going to hear you out!" "Then I'm not taking my arms off." "You really think you can just come back around like as if nothing happened?" She asked still struggling. "That's why I am here." "You took your time! You are fucking 8 months late!" "If you'd let me explain—" "Explain it to the dog!" Bill chuckled against her nape. "Our poor labrador wouldn't listen to me if I did." Hillary bit her lips. "And you still have the audacity to find this amusing?" "You taught me that, and you know you taught me a lot of things." He whispered. "Jesus Bill, let me go." He heard the resignation of her tone so he sighed and let her go.

The moment he did, she slapped him that snapped his head sideways. "That was for 8 months!" She said and walked out.

###

Early in the morning inside his office at Clinton Global Foundation in Manhattan, New York, Bill was clutching an ice pack against the side of his face. He had arrived in his office wearing shades because of the black eye that he got from the wok that his wife had use to hit him. It was embarrassing that their friends got a front seat of the commotion that he had to send a message to each of them.

This is not how he imagined his first day back in America. Last night, when Hillary had slapped the life out him, she locked herself in their room. Bill tried to talk to her but he ended up talking to the closed door. He had begged for her to listen to him, to no avail. He knew that this is just a beginning for him back in America. He was reading the report of Noubou when John Podesta arrived.

"Morning!" John greeted as he peeked around the door. "John!" Bill said smiling. It has been a long time since he had seen his friend. Bill stood up and went to meet him half way. They gave each other a quick hug, then John held him in a distance to check him out. "You lost weight, and you definitely got tanned. Good tan, and .... " Then John noticed his black eye, he tilted his head and said, "why on earth do you have a black eye?" Bill smiled, "let's sit?" He asked. When Bill sat on his seat, and John took the chair in front of his table, John asked again, "why do you have a black eye?" Bill sighed and again pressed the ice pack against his face again. "If you were gone for almost 8 months without any word to your wife, you'd get the same result." John laughed. "I can imagine." Then he looked at Bill and then asked, "So you stayed with Hill?" "Yeah, I did." "Did you ... did you guys talk?" "We didn't have a chance really ... she was mad." John suddenly rubbed his chin contemplating what Bill said, then he added, "I'm not sure if you do remember but when we were in Lagos, it was the day before I went back, you told me something about John Kerry and Hill." Bill just kept a straight face waiting for him to continue, then John dropped the news that Bill was dreading to hear, "well, I'm not sure if you know, but John and Hill is ... well ... hell, they're dating."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, I made it on my Tuesday deadline as promised. LOL. σ(ﾟｰ^*) ~~I really need to stop being so defensive on my story.~~ I know that some of Bill's reason is not yet clear but you'll get the whole picture of what took place in Noubou when we progress in the later part of the series. I seriously would have explored his journey in Nigeria but I realized that it will take longgggeerrrrrrrr. But I honestly I wanted to put some story on what happened between 2 - 7 months when he was away just as how Hill and John became close. But I'm not sure if I could justify it, so I had to skip. PJWDHOAIWJDOIAWDJAWIDJ. But damn, HUHUHU. I wanted to! (ಥ﹏ಥ)
> 
> Anyway I hope you enjoyed the chapter. My sincerest apologies on my grammar mistakes, and inconsistencies. I hope you like the update and hang-on on the next chapter which will be posted by Thursday or Friday. Thanks for the kudos, and comments! Hope to hear your thoughts on this chapter. (⌒.－)＝★


	9. Chapter 9

Bill felt like as if someone just knocked the air out of him when John said that Kerry and Hill were dating. But he remained impassive. What he did instead was to press the ice pack harder against his face until he couldn't feel anything. It took him a while to react but when he did he furrowed his eyebrows then asked, "what do you mean dating?" John pursued his lips, took a deep breath and said, "well, you know, they've been going out A. LOT." Bill chuckled trying to look like as if he's not affected, "when did you get interested in gossiping?" John gave a quick laugh and said, "it wasn't a gossip. I have seen them a couple of times, that's why I asked if you both had talked. I was worried if you guys were separating. I mean, heck, you've been gone for almost 8 months." Bill sighed, and said, "no, we're not separating, but I have to admit, I have a lot of fixing to do." "what happened to you in Africa anyway?" John asked curiously. Bill placed the ice pack on the holder, then he leaned back and stared at the ceiling suddenly like as if he was transported somewhere taken by a not so distant memory. When Bill returned his gaze to John there was certain sadness that John had seen in his eyes. "Long story," Bill replied looking down at his desk, avoiding John's eyes. John felt the reluctance from Bill so he thought of letting it go by changing the topic, "the annual meeting is coming up, are you ready?" "Well, I've always been ready."

When John had left and Bill was on his own, he couldn't shake what John told him. He pressed his palms on his eyes. Gaddamn, how the hell did they get here? He thought. He was trying to recount everything from the start. How and why they ended up here. He knew the 8 months separation had complicated their situation.

Alright, there are few things he needed to fix: first, he knew she should have a partial idea about what he did in Noubou through Doctor Sanjaya. Unless of course, the doctor failed to meet her. Which he needs to know. Second, the fact that he did not inform her of his flight, which she already knew why. But he'll apologize for that. Third, what drove him to decide to go to Noubou. But he'd only be able to address them if he can make her listen to him. Well, making her listen to him would be a challenge because it looks like she's not yet ready to do so. He needs to coax her until she relents. But he needed to have them to sit down and talk or else he would lose her completely.

 _Shit. I can't lose anyone I love anymore,_ he thought. _Not Hill, not my family_. Jesus, he didn't even have the time to ask how she had been. He was dying to know how she had carried her pregnancy alone. He wanted to share the burden too, but it's all too late. Fuck. He deserves this. Kerry was right, if he loses her to him it's because he drove her to his arms.

But wait, it wasn't all his fault. To begin with, she was the one who had kept the truth from him, which had driven him to make an ultimatum for her to choose. And she chose Kerry and her ambition to succeed in Senate.

That one hurt, but he can let that be forgotten. But the other thing that he wanted to address was did she really cheat on him? And why did she keep the information from him that she went out with Kerry, if she wasn't?

God, think. Why would she keep that information from him?

_Go back from the start, Bill. Go back._

Originally, he shouldn't be going in Noubou, but he made a last-minute decision to do it because ... Well because of the report that he received from his lead secret service when he had them followed. He had pictures and report of what transpired, such as the time and dates that John would visit her, and their observation.

He felt his chest constrict by the thought. Those report made him decide to go to Noubou because he wants to give Hillary her happiness. It was just so unfortunate that he didn't know that going to Noubou would get him entangled on situation and commitment that he didn't see coming. And it was no going back for him when he arrived there.

Okay but was that his fault when he wanted to give her happiness? Didn't she forget what he told her: that he's willing to let her go so she could follow what her heart wants?

But now she had what she wants. She chose John.

Bill suddenly felt a pricking sensation in his eyes. His throat tightening.

If this is what he wants for her why does it hurt? Isn't this what Bill wanted to give her, her happiness? But why does it feel like as if he was being torn apart?

_You shit, you wanted this._

_No, he can't lose her. He just can't. Fuck._

_Please, take me back, Hill. Forgive me. Love me._

Bill took a deep breath as his tears came streaming down his face. He bit his fist trying to stifle his sob. Who is he to ask something of her, when he had been the one who had hurt her too many times? How dare he to even ask when he had left her when she needed him the most?

But maybe it's not yet too late. Maybe he can do something about it. But what he knows for sure is that he's leaving everything into her hands.

_Just give me a chance, darling._

=== 

It was past 7 in the evening when Hillary was preparing to go home and John arrived in her office. She was stacking the papers that she needed to review tomorrow when she heard a knock. "Come in!" She called without looking up. John pushed open the door and walked up to her, "so how are you doing miss?" He teased. Hillary smiled up to him as John closed the distance between them. "I thought you'd be in Massachusetts?" She asked. "Will be tomorrow, but I thought I'd drop by," John said smiling down at her. "But why would you drop by, mister?" She asked playfully. "Well, after Massachusettes, I'll be in Florence for a while, and I think I'm going to miss you. But since you're not going to come I'd make you jealous." Hillary laughed, "oh, yeah I'd be jealous." "I'll make sure that I'd send you pictures, so you'd regret that you didn't join me." Hillary looked down avoiding his gaze. Hillary knew that John had been a little persistent for them to be more than friends, but well, she still couldn't give it to him. Not just right now.

John felt her hesitation, and he was well aware of it, so he made lightly on the conversation by teasing her about it, "fine, I know you don't want to join me. And you'd rather be just here and drown yourself with work. Seriously, you need to take a rest, you'll soon give birth." John said reaching out to caress her stomach. And it was the same time that they felt her baby kicked. John smiled at her, his eyes gentle.

Bill stood outside her door feeling like an intruder watching them. Bill was able to see everything. He was planning to take her home just as what he was used to when she goes home late at night only to find out that John had beaten him to it. He was on his way to knock on her door when he saw that it was slightly ajar. He took a peek and he saw them. He saw how they both had smiled, laughed, and exchanged looks.

His initial reaction was to push open the door and plant his fist on John's face. But he stopped himself because he knew that by doing that, he'd lose her more. He restrained himself and just watched.

By watching, he knew he was slowly killing himself. What pained him the more was to see how comfortable John touched her stomach like as if he had every right to do so. It crushed him to realize that he didn't even have the chance to do it. He didn't even get to feel their baby's first kick. How he didn't have the chance to share that amazing moment with his wife.

He wondered did she share it with John instead? Did she ... did she take his hands and told him to feel their baby's kick, did they both laugh, did they smile at each other? Christ, he needs to leave before he breaks down and cry outside her door.

He turned so suddenly nearly knocking the nearest vase, he jogged down the stairs and left. When he got out of the building, he avoided the secret service by going to an opposite direction. He jogged away from the building until he was running far. He ran until his lungs were burning, until the muscles in his legs were screaming from pain. He ran until his heart pumped hard against his chest. He didn't know what to do. The pain he was feeling was splitting him wide open, and bleeding him alive.

_Save me, please_

He made too many mistakes now. He had driven her away into someone's arms.

_This is what you wanted, Bill. Now swallow your pill._

###

**Chappaqua, New York**

Hillary was lying on the bed when she heard Bill arrived. She stood up and took her robe. She went out of her room to check him out. She saw him take a turn and went to the room that she had converted into a nursery. She silently followed and saw him standing next to the crib looking down at it. Seeing him there standing felt so surreal. How many times had she imagined him there standing? How many times had she wondered when this will happen?

Bill caressed the frame, and he felt a prickling sensation behind his neck and he knew he wasn't alone. He turned and he saw Hillary standing outside the door looking at him. Hillary's breath caught when their eyes met. They both stood there staring. For Hillary though this is the first time that she'll be able to observe him, how different he had been comparing 8 months ago: he had shed a few pounds, tanned, and his white hair had been more prominent. She thought that probably his journey in Africa had roughened him, but to her, he looks more striking. Bill, on the other hand, had also taken his chance to study her. The last time he had seen her, her stomach had a slight bump. Now they are huge, and she's probably only waiting for a few weeks to give birth. Her hair was cropped short, exactly just as how they were when she ran for Senate, darker on the roots, then butter blond on the body. To him, she was still as lovely and beautiful as she had been.

They both stood there as if familiarizing themselves of how each other look.

They both didn't understand what was happening, but with the romantic caress of the twilight, and the magic in the air, they could feel an attraction that they both knew had never diminished despite the distance, despite many challenges. But both of them are so blinded by their own pain they couldn't recognize it.

 _What happened to us, Bill?_ She thought.

 _Am I really too late, Hill?_ He wondered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, I won't say anything. Some surprise in the next few chapters. Thank you again for the comments, and kudos! Hope to hear from you regarding this chapter =) (・ωｰ)～☆


	10. Chapter 10

_"I love how the nursery looks. Who helped you design it?" He asked almost in a whisper, his eyes held hers._

_"Chelsea, she chose the color."_

_"She helped you make this?"_

_She turned her eyes away from him, and said, "John did. He was there when you weren't."_

Bill pressed his fingers against his temples remembering how his encounter with Hillary went.

_"Hill—" he called when Hillary turned her back to him and started to walk away. He took a few huge steps to catch up with her, and when he did, he grasps both of her arms. She stopped walking away, and she had allowed him to hold her arms. "If you'd let me explain—" Hillary had cut him when she turned her head by few degrees and said brokenly, "what difference will it make?"_

It wasn't the opening that he wanted to have her to talk to him. But he wasn't expecting that he would be having that moment with her. When he went to the nursery, it's because he wanted to find comfort after seeing John and Hillary together. He didn't know that she was still awake, so seeing her there watching him from the door just took him by surprise. They both stood there observing each other. Bill knew that Hillary took the chance to see him just as what he did.

There were few things that he wanted to ask: _Do you love him? Have I lost you completely? Can you forgive me? Can we talk?_

But he couldn't gauge her mood at that moment that it scared him to make an opening at a wrong time. So he opted to speak about the nursery, only to remind her of the pain his absence had caused her.

He craned his neck snapping him back to reality, and had taken off his eyeglass to rest when Chelsea came barging into his office in a hurry.

"Dad, mom's water broke!" She announced.

"Call the driver and let's go!" He said picking up his coat draped over the back of his seat.

###

It took Bill a few minutes to reach the hospital. She was already inside the operating room when they arrived. They informed him that she was already on the table ready to deliver his child.

"You're making a mistake by not allowing me to enter!" He said his voice was raising when the hospital staff had prevented him from coming in.

"But sir, she's already on the table."

"I don't care. Get me inside!" He shouted.

Hillary just had her anesthesia, and the doctor was already preparing to cut her when the door in the surgery room opened with Bill marching inside wearing a hospital garb. The doctor had immediately recognized him. Bill, however, was focused on her, when he saw where she was, he went directly to her. He leaned a little towards her head, and then brushed back her hair.

"She's ... She's a little groggy with the anesthesia," the doctor said, but Bill didn't pay attention. It had been a long time since they were in the same situation when she had delivered Chelsea. But during those time they were filled with happiness, and they were in love. This time, however, she hates him, and he was hurting.

"Bill?" She said weakly almost falling asleep, she reaches out her hand seemingly to push him away, but he immediately grabbed it, and instead, had pressed it against his cheek.

"I'm here sweetheart."

"No—"

"Ssh, I know you're angry, and maybe you don't want me to be in here. But I'm not going to leave you. Not again, not ever." He placed a kiss on the back of her hand not minding that they were not alone in the room. "Guess what, you probably hate me for forcing myself to be in here, but when you're okay, you can throw the pans at me again if you want." He joked, and she gave a weak laugh. A tear rolled down her temple, and he wiped it with his finger. "I hate you," she whispered, she tried to open her eyes, but failed and had allowed herself to fall asleep. "Yeah, I hate me too." He said against her forehead, pressing his lips on the smooth skin there.

###

A few hours later Hillary was already awake. Her body aching, her head feels light, and her throat raw. She just had her eyes opened when the nurse came to her side and said, "Welcome back, Mrs. Clinton," then started checking her vitals.

Hillary was first confused where she was, and it only dawned on her what had happened when Bill sauntered into her side cradling their baby in his arms. "Guess who arrived?" He asked smiling as he placed their son in her arms. "Daniel Jefferson Clinton," he announced pressing a kiss on the top of her head. She had unwrapped the baby's swaddling smiling gently. Her heart squeezed when she saw the round face of her son, and tears rolled down her cheeks as she pressed a long kiss on Daniel's soft head. She fingered his wispy blond hair, then caressed his fat arms, fat legs, curling toes and hands. She placed her palm on his delicate round belly feeling him. She had marveled on their small miracle, and that after all they went through, and after all their heartbreak they were given a beautiful boy. She looked up at Bill with tears in her eyes, "he's perfect," she whispered.

The moment was so poignant that brought tears to Bill's eyes too. He felt incredibly hopeful that maybe, after all, it's not yet too late. Perhaps in the most unexpected time, everything will fall in the right place, just as the arrival of their child.

###

Bill was reclining on the bed next to her; his arm draped around her shoulder, they watch as their son breastfeed. It was an intimate moment; their proximity made them aware of the electrical charge that passed between them. Hillary felt it, and so she tried to distract it by indulging in a conversation.

"I thought you wanted him to be William Jefferson junior?" She asked without looking at him.

Bill caressed his son's hair with his finger, and responded, "that was what I initially thought, but then I realized that by doing so, it felt like as if he was mine," he leaned until his lips were near her ears, "but we created him, he was ours. So I wanted him to have your name too," he said breathing against her nape. His statement brought goosebumps behind her neck, making the hair there stood up. Hillary leaned forward putting a little distance between their body and trying to hide her teary eyes, touched by his consideration. Then she shook her head trying not to welcome the feeling that he brought by his words. Until now Hillary couldn't get over from the pain that he had caused her. But what infuriated her more is that she couldn't bring herself to hate him, that until now, she still loves him.

But she tried, she tried to hate him only to fail in the end. She tried to cheat on him before, but she failed. She tried to forget him only to fail too. He was still her weakness, and he had always been her weakness, and whatever happens she always ends up coming back to him.

Bill felt the tension in her body, and he knew that she was probably internally struggling to prevent herself to acknowledge whatever she felt with what he told her. So he tried to lighten it up by saying, "you know, I'm not sure if you could still remember because you were in anesthesia, but I told you that when we get home, I will let you hit me with that huge pan you used." She laughed a little remembering that encounter. "If you are waiting for me to apologize for that one I won't." "I'm not expecting you to." Bill leaned his head and pressed a kiss on the back of her head, "Thank you for our son." Hillary felt her throat tighten by the sincerity of his words. But she remained quiet.

They watch as his son feed, sucking her nipples. The view turned him on and brought a primal feeling in him. He realized how long it had been since they been intimate. Being in Africa and surrounded with dying people, and with spreading disease made him uninterested to any physical contact. Besides, he had lost interest. But seeing his son feed had brought out his carnal desire for her that had suddenly overwhelmed him.

God, he wants her.

He wants her. He needs her, like how he needs air to breathe, food to eat, water to drink. He needs her as she was the bone in his rib that God took to mold to be his Eve. She was his, and he was hers.

But he's not going to settle for seduction, or for anything less. Hillary needs to love him again; Hillary needs to bleed for him just as he was bleeding for her.

His mind was set, he will win her back. He will ask for her forgiveness; he would beg if he needs to, worship and kiss her feet if it means to get her back completely. He's not going to give up, and by God, nothing will stop him from getting her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> （*ﾟーﾟ） I hope you like the update. *cries* For some reason I'm really struggling because I'm so conscious if you are becoming impatient. HAHAHAHAHA, I thought about that because I am getting impatient myself. But I had to keep the pace of the story. To be honest, I'm supposed to be writing the delivery of the baby in the next chapter, but I don't want to drag anymore (took us 10 chapters to get the baby out). Anyway, Bill will work on earning his forgiveness in the next few chapters, the ~~sexual~~ tension, the reveal, and the fact that John will get back in the story. WHAT THE EFFING DUCK?!! I also hope you like the name, Daniel Jefferson. Ugh. ✿♥‿♥✿ 
> 
> Hoping to hear your thoughts regarding this chapter! Will update this Monday / Tuesday ( • ̀ω•́ ) ✧
> 
> PS: Leaving you with this adorable WJC picture http://i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/357188/slide_357188_3943724_free.jpg
> 
> PS: Puhlease apologies for the grammatical errors. I'll correct them when I have time. =)


	11. Chapter 11

Hillary stayed in the hospital for two days. Staying in the hospital had helped her in avoiding Bill. Being there meant that she didn't have to endure being alone with him. She had received a lot of visitors while in the hospital that kept her occupied. But now that they are back at home, and that would mean that she need to deal with him.

On their first day together at home, Hillary woke up one morning with a migraine. But what had greeted her in the morning was the radio playing Al Green's Let's Stay Together. She took a glance at the crib that Bill moved near to her bed and found that Daniel was no longer in there. He's probably with Bill, she thought.

She took an early shower; then she had donned a simple dress. She looked for them and found them in the kitchen. Bill was wearing a gray apron over his white shirt, his hair still messy from sleep. Apparently, he was making breakfast. He prepared hash brown, fried eggs, and toasted bread.

He was talking to Daniel while he was flipping something in the pan. Daniel was in the infant seat on the top of the dining table asleep.

"You don't know, but your mom is a heavy sleeper."

Hillary took a peek on their sleeping son, and when she found him sleeping peacefully, she sat quietly on the chair next to him. She heard Bill chuckle when he added: "I'll tell you a secret, your mom snores when she's tired."

Hillary cleared her throat, and asked, "I snore?" Bill stiffened. He turned to look at her holding the pan. He pursed his lips looking at her, trying to weigh his response. Hillary kept her face straight waiting for him to continue. "Well..." he said, then he approached the dining table to put the sausages on the plate. "Well?" Hillary asked. Bill shook his head, "well... it was a cute snore." Bill replied lamely. Hillary gave a smirk, then added: "I didn't know that you are talking to our son about me behind my back." Bill squinted and said, "don't worry, I'm sure he won't remember." Hill gave a short laugh, then stifled it by biting her lips.

Hillary looked at the food and asked, "are we expecting someone to join us for breakfast?" Bill sat on the chair opposite her and said "no, but I thought I'd prepare to help you recuperate." Hillary nodded, then asked, "when did you learn how to cook?" "Africa," Bill responded, as he reached out for the cup of his coffee.

Hillary stared at the back of his hand that was facing her and saw that he had light scars on them. Bill saw where she was looking at, so he said, "I got it from getting water. There was a little reservoir a few miles in Noubou. We have to climb down from the mountain. I got few scratches from the rocks. It was hard because one wrong step, we'll fall." Her eyes widened in alarm. "You're not even used to climbing mountains! What if you fell?" Bill took a sip from his coffee and placed the cup back to the table, "do I detect worry in your tone?" He teased.

He waited for her to stay something, but when she didn't, Bill moved instead. He helped her get some food. "I'm sorry for leaving without saying a goodbye. I know that you already know that I had forgotten that I have a flight to Africa. But you deserve a proper apology." So he stood up and went to her. Then he crouched next to her, almost like as if he was kneeling. "I'm so sorry for leaving that way. But I want you to know that I tried to reach out. I called many times, but it keeps on failing. Then the telecommunications where I lived, was impossible." When she didn't react, he bowed his head until he had his forehead rest against her thigh. "I wouldn't do that to you, Hill. I wouldn't leave that way."

Bill didn't know if Hillary would even forgive him. He thought that if she didn't, he would accept it. He would just work harder to earn her forgiveness.

He almost had given up, but then he felt her brushed his hair at the back of his head. He looked up at her, "I know you didn't mean to leave that way, Bill." "But do you forgive me?" He asked. She remained silent. "I made a lot of mistakes before I left, and I understand if you want some time to forgive me."

Bill shook his head because it wasn't only that. He was about to say something when Daniel started to cry.

Both of them turned their head where he was. Bill moved as Hillary stood up. She took Daniel out of his seat and carried him. She headed to the bedroom to take care of his needs.

Daniel only stopped crying after Hillary had breastfed him. She had tucked him when he fell asleep again. While she was fixing his blanket, she felt Bill behind her. The proximity of their body had made them aware of each other. Bill could smell the lavender soap that she used earlier, and he could smell the vanilla that she used on her hair. He wondered about the softness, and smoothness of her skin. Unconsciously, he moved a little closer.

Hillary was already filled with anxiety when she knew that Bill had come to stand behind her. Her anxiety had escalated to panic when he took a step closer. Both of them was aware of the sexual tension that was enveloping them. But Hillary didn't want to acknowledge it. Bill also ignored it. But, he thought, if Hillary moved to do something about it, he would take the opportunity.

"I... I haven't eaten yet." Hillary said breaking the tension. She moved farther away until she headed back to the dining. Bill almost wanted to chuckle because he knew that Hillary felt what he felt, and she was doing her best to avoid him. "I know, the food was still on the table. Do you want me to reheat them?" Hillary shook her head. "No, it's fine."

"By the way, we have an upcoming dinner this coming weekend. There's a social gathering for Dems here in New York. I know that you are hesitant to attend, because of Daniel. We can leave him with Chelsea while we are at the party. We don't have to stay long. Are you okay with that?" He asked. "If we are only going to stay only for an hour or two, yes."

When Bill had arrived home after attending a few meetings and arranging the preparation of the Annual Meeting of CGI, Hillary was already asleep. He found her sleeping next to Daniel. Bill silently went to Daniel's side and carried him back to his crib.

Hillary stirred, "what time is it?" She asked, her voice thick from sleep. "It's ten o'clock. Sleep." He told her as he dropped a kiss on her forehead, "why are you late?" She asked looking up at him, her eyes sleepy. Bill smiled, "missed me already?" He teased. Hillary just rolled her eyes at him.

###

**New York City**

Bill and Hillary arrived at the gala event for Democrats in New York City together. It was a formal event wherein Hillary, and Bill had to dress up. Bill had worn a three piece suit, whereas Hillary had worn a blue designer dress that hugged her curves.

Hillary and Bill sat alongside some of the Democrat mayors and senators. She excused herself saying that she needs to go to the comfort room. On her way to the comfort room when someone had grabbed her arm, only to find that it was John who pulled her into the corner.

"John!" She blurted. "Can we talk?" He asked. Hillary saw the desperation in his eyes that she ended up agreeing to join him. They took a few turn until John had pulled her in a secluded corner. "Did you get back with him?" He asked. Hillary was taken aback by his bluntness. "No, we're not yet back together," Hillary said putting distance between them. John paced. Hillary knew that he was angry. The muscles in John's shoulders tensed, and the muscles in his jaw bunched. "But you're considering?" He asked looking at her. She didn't answer, and John knew the answer. He rubbed his jaw with his hand and swore "Christ!" Hillary flinched.

"I don't know what you are doing to yourself, Hill." He said bitingly. "I'm not sure if you are a masochist or what. But what I don't understand is why do you keep on going back to him." "John—" "Hill, how can you be so smart, and so tough but so soft for that idiot?" "John, please—" "No, you know what, I'm not going to be around here anymore to hold your hand when he leaves or hurt you!" John turned to look at her and saw her eyes turning misty. When Hillary knew that John had caught her eyes she turned away from him, John suddenly had to rein his anger. He closed the distance between them and cradled her face until he had her looking at him. "You don't have to be with him. I'll take care of you and your son." He said, wiping her tears with his thumb. "You don't have to love me, Hill. I have enough love for both of us." He whispered.

Hillary wanted to. God, she wanted to. But Hillary knew that in her heart would never stop loving Bill, and the only thing that she can give John is her friendship. She knew that John deserves someone who would love him just as much. John already knew that she would not even accept him, so he let her go.

Bill was standing in the corner drinking watching the people mingle. Bill was not really in the mood to mix. After all, staying for some time in Africa made him feel uncomfortable with this kind of event. Bill took a sip of the scotch in his tumbler when John had joined him. "Quite a night," John said. "Kerry," Bill greeted nodding to him. "Clinton." John returned gravely.

Hillary was talking to Congresswoman Pelosi when they heard a commotion and a glass breaking. They looked around where the sound was coming from until she had a glimpse of John pushing Bill and then knocking him to the ground. Hillary had hurried, as she had seen John hit Bill repeatedly. Bill wasn't blocking; he was accepting every hit John had given him. Few senators were pulling John, grabbing him by his coat. But with John's built and his military background, they were not able to pull him away. They were only able to stop John when they had few men who held him. Hillary was on John's side holding his arm. Bill, on the other hand, was on the floor, his nose bleeding, his chest heaving. Bill spat the blood on the ground and had realized that everyone was looking down at him. He felt ridiculous sitting there, a loser. He stood up and wiped the blood from his nose with the back of his hand. His wounded eyes never left Hillary. He had seen how she had chosen to side with John. He felt alone. Isolated. Maybe John was right he will never be good enough for her, and he would always embarrass her.

Bill bowed a little to the crowd, humbling himself before them and said, "I'm sorry. I do not mean to ruin the night." Then he turned as he hurries up to leave. People had cleared the way for him as he passes through. "Bill—" Hillary called, but Bill didn't stop. He kept going.

Hillary was trying to catch up with him. "Go back, Hill!" He said. "No, Bill, wait for me!" She said. Bill had pushed open the back door trying to avoid the press. He had taken a few steps away from the building when the thunder started rolling, and the rain poured heavily.

Hillary was still trying to catch up with him. "Bill stop!" Hillary called loudly making Bill stop. He turned surprised that she followed him. He strode where she was standing. Hillary was squinting against the rain and was wrapping her arms around her to keep herself warm. He stood next to her and grasped her arms gently. She looked up at him and had seen that a dark spot forming under his jaw and his nose had a trail of blood.

Looking at her there drenched with her hair plastered down with rain made his heart squeeze. "Why did you follow me?" He asked shouting as the thunder boomed from the background. He took off his coat and covered her with it. "Why did you follow me?" He asked again. "Why did you allow John to hit you? Why didn't you didn't hit him back?" She asked. "I don't want to hit someone you love." "Well, you're hurting him right now." She said. "What do you mean?" "You're hurting yourself."

Bill felt something warm on his cheek, and he realized that he was crying. Hillary reached out to touch his face, "I don't know what you are doing, Bill. I don't understand why you keep doing this to us, and to yourself." She said gazing at his face. "I've fucked up, Hill." He said brokenly. "I decided to stay in Africa because I wanted you to choose your happiness. I thought you wanted John." "But why would you think that?" "Because I felt that I would never be good enough for you. I'm a horrible person, Hill. I hurt you. I didn't trust you. I know that I will not be good enough for you, so I believed the worst. Then, I thought you'd be happier with John." Hillary shook her head. "I had loved you not because of your perfection. I loved you because you're you." She said, as she reached out and started to shower his face with kisses, "I love your flaws, your idiosyncrasies, your humor, your ability to humble yourself, and how you loved." She pulled back to brush back his hair. "I love you William Jefferson Clinton, and you should stop doubting my capacity to love and forgive you, honey." Bill felt weak in his knees that he ended up kneeling before her and wrapping his arms around her waist, his head on her stomach. He wept, because after all this time she never had stopped loving him, and all he did was to push her away. He was ashamed for doubting her, for succumbing to his insecurities, for doing this to them. 

He cried for some time until he felt her helped him up, "let me take you home." She said.

### 

The thunder was still rolling outside, the rain pouring heavily. Hillary got out of the bathroom after a shower and started to look for Daniel because she knows that Daniel might be having a hard time sleeping. She had worn a white button down shirt; her hair still wet from the shower. The thunder again clapped from a distance illuminating their room with silver light briefly. Hillary looked for them and found Bill carrying Daniel whispering to him as he rocks him. They were standing near the window watching the rain. Bill's hair was also wet from the shower and was standing in a different direction. She noticed that he hadn't worn his shirt yet and was only wearing his boxers. He had probably had looked after Daniel when it thundered again.

How they both look together brought sweetness to her chest. How Bill had handled Daniel cooing him, whispering to him was endearing. She approached them from behind. "Hey," Hillary whispered. Bill turned to her, and she took Daniel from him. The moment she carried him, Daniel started fidgeting then sucking on her clothes. "I have to feed him." She whispered. She brought Daniel back to her room. She had unbuttoned her shirt and released her breast in the confines of her shirt; then she had helped him latched on her nipples to feed.

Bill stood behind her and watched. He reached out to touch Daniel's head brushing his light hair. Hillary's senses had heightened. She could smell his cologne. She was becoming aware of him. When Daniel finished, he had let go of her nipples and starting nuzzling on Hillary's chest. Hillary rocked him for a while, then pressed a tender kiss on his head, and she had gently placed him back in the crib. She stood there while Bill remained behind her. Her heart was trip hammering on her chest. They both were aware of each other but had been afraid to make a move. They are worried because they knew where the night might lead. But what scares them is that it felt that the act was new to them. Besides, it had been too long since they had shared a bed together. Hillary suddenly felt inept. Bill, for his part, could hear his heart beat in his ears. His pulse had doubled on its rate. His hands started to perspire. He was just as nervous. It's been so long since he shared a physical contact with her. He was careful not to ruin the moment as he was prone to destroying things. He was afraid to make a mistake. _Please, not this time._

Hillary was waiting for him to make a move, she was breathing hard, and she could feel him breathe behind her. He moved a little closer; she felt his nose and lips hover just above the curve of her neck. Smelling, feeling. She could feel his breath on her nape. A warm air coming from him touched her skin making the hair at the back of her neck stood. A shiver went down her spine. He was taking his time like as if reacquainting himself with her body. 

_A dance before the mating._

_tick_

_tock_

_tick_

_tock_

a few more heart beat. 

The rain poured heavily, a loud thunder blasts in the distance.

_Come closer._

She felt him descended his head.

His lips touched her skin.

_Finally._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⊂(◉‿◉)つ Hi guys, thank you for all of your support. I hope you like the update. Let me know what you think of this chapter! Will update by Thursday/Friday. I am sorry for the grammatical errors. But let me know how I can improve. TEEEHEE d(￣◇￣)b
> 
> PS: I think you know where the next chapter might lead. *shifty eyes* ｡ﾟ+.(･∀･)ﾟ+.ﾟ


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning!** **Warning!** **Warning!** : Please take note that this chapter is **SMUT**. If you are not comfortable reading smut, you may skip this section. You can skip this chapter without getting lost.
> 
> Someone asked me how I see Bill and Hill in the story [2001]: http://i2.cdn.cnn.com/cnnnext/dam/assets/150313125303-clinton-scandal-gallery-5-super-169.jpg

Hillary moaned the moment Bill's lips touched her skin. She tilted her head to the side giving him access as her free hand reached behind her to caress the side of his face—encouraging him. Bill scattered kisses on her neck as his arms wrapped around her body one arm across her stomach; the other started unbuttoning her shirt until it spreads open, hanging from her body. He was taking his time. He lightly brushed the tip of his fingers in the center of her torso. Brushing, and gliding making her body tingle. She leaned her head back until she rests her head against the wall of his chest. Her body was pressing against his. She whimpered as Bill started nipping her skin and his hand held her breast. She hissed when his hand grazed her nipple, too sensitive from breastfeeding. Bill felt the wetness on his palm and Hillary immediately apologized, "I'm sorry." But he silenced her by whispering, "Sssh, it's okay. You're perfect." He turned her around to face him. He held her round face and pressed a reverent kiss all over: between the space of her brows, the tip of her nose, on her apple cheeks, then he ran his lips along her jaw. Bill pulled back a little to look at her, and then he touched his nose to hers and said, "you are beautiful, Hillary."

He circled his arms around her waist, pulling her closer until she could feel his hardness against her stomach. "Wrap your legs around me. I'll carry you to the bed." He murmured against her neck. "I'm heavy." She said consciously. Bill muffled his laughter against her skin. "I'm bigger than you, larger." He moved his hands on her buttocks and hitched her higher against him, and she automatically wrapped her legs around his waist. Her arms circled his neck. In that position, she was taller than him by few inches. Bill tipped his head back to look at her, and she bent hers to look at him down. She grabbed his face and noticed his lower lip with a cut possibly from the punch that he received from John. She touched it with her finger, and he flinched. "Does it hurt?" She asked, looking at his eyes. "Not really."

The wind howled outside, the rain pelting against the window serenading them. "You're shaking," Bill whispered. Hillary ran her hands on his jaw and again cradled his face as she descended her head brushing her open lips against his. "It's cold." She whispered. "Then let me warm you. Kiss me." He said, and she did just that. She hooked her thumb on the bottom of his mouth opening it wider, and then she pushed her tongue inside his mouth tangling with his. Their lips locked in a passionate kiss, while he moved towards their bed. He flopped them down on the soft mattress without dislodging their lips. He turned and had her on top of him. She straddled his pelvis while he leaned toward her and helped her remove her shirt. They exchanged kisses, savoring each other's lips until they become swollen. "I can't get enough of you," Bill said as he dragged his mouth from her lips to the column of her neck, grazing her skin with his teeth. Hillary ran her hand from his back to the back of his head, feeling his silky hair. Her nails were raking back and forth brushing along his spine sending goosebumps on his arms.

He grasped her hips and turned them and switched position and had her under him. He kept their lips occupied as he ran his hands on her arms until Bill reached and grasped her hands, he pulled and said: "Hold the bar in the headboard, I'll take you for a ride." He said, looking at her. His eyes dilated, the light blue color turned a degree darker almost cobalt. Hillary nodded and stretched her arms above her holding the bars in the headboard.

Bill trailed his lips kissing and tasting her skin. He started in her ear, and trailed on the side of her neck down to her chest, licking and sucking her nipples then down to her stomach, towards her navel dipping his tongue there, running his lips on the healing scar of her operation that made Hillary catch her breath. Bill, then wandered his lips downwards towards the center of her, then Bill pulls off her underwear. He found her bare and smooth when he removed her final clothing. Bill caressed her skin, bringing sensation. It was just too much, and unconsciously her thighs were closing. But Bill held them. He looked up at her meeting her eyes, "spread your legs, darlin'." Her pulse multiplied, her chest heaved like as if she ran. She couldn't help it. He had her under his spell. Seduced. She stared at the ceiling as she relaxed the muscles on her thighs giving in to his demand.

The moment she did, Bill groaned. He gazed at the core of her feminity, and then he descended his head and began lapping at her slowly, making up for the lost time. He sucked, nipped her bud where she was most sensitive. Hillary tightened her hold on the bar until her knuckles turned white. Her head thrashing. The pleasure was just too much. Her blood heated, she threw her head back, her chin tipped up, her muscles in her thighs strained. She was close... Almost... Nearing... Bill felt her quiver and knew that her orgasm was rising so he unlatched his mouth on her center. "No!" Hillary protested. Bill caressed the lower part of her abdomen relaxing the tensed muscle. "No," Hillary complained as he deprived her of climax. Tears formed in the corner of her eyes. It had been so long since she enjoyed this kind of pleasure, but now he was depriving her, leaving her aching. Bill crawled up until he was face to face with her. "Please," she begged. "It aches." Bill brushed his lips against her and murmured, "Ssh, relax." The muscle in her stomach tightened as his hand touched and caressed her there. "No, I can't—" "We have all night." He said kissing her, as his hands worked to remove his boxers. Hillary helped him without displacing their kiss.

Hillary felt him warm and hard against her thighs. She reached out to tentatively touch him, then her hands closing around his hardness. Bill hissed as if he was in pain, her hands cold against his warm skin. She caressed him for a while, then had positioned him at her entrance. Bill hovered above her and brushed back her hair. His heart was beating so fast against his chest. Then he slowly entered her. He groaned as she enveloped him with her warmth and wetness. She was tight as a glove around him. The drive to do it fast was tempting, but it had been too long for them, he knew that her body was adjusting to accommodate him. He pushed further until he deeply buried himself inside her. Hillary moaned, her head thrown back. Bill perspired from holding himself. He held himself inside her waiting for her to body adjust to his girth. "I... I'm sorry, darlin', but I have to move," he said through gritted teeth after some time. Hillary reached out to soothe the muscle in his jaw, "stake your claim, honey. I'm all yours." So Bill moved, making her as his in every way possible.

Bill didn't make it easy on her. He tortured her by withholding her orgasm. When Bill felt her inner muscle quaking, and she begins to squeeze him tight, Bill would maneuver and change position. Bill had her in different positions all throughout the period of their joining, but he held her carefully in order not to reopen her healing stitch. When Bill moved and had her in a spoon position, he whispered hotly against her nape, "open for me, sweetheart; I'll hold your leg." He lifted her leg and draped it over his hip. When he felt her clenched, he moved, "Turn for me, love," he told her before he flipped and grasped her hips and took her from behind. He thrust over and over again, and then he moved when he felt her inside muscles quivering. He rolled them until he had her on top of him, "sit on me, ride me hard," he said through gritted teeth, controlling himself. And Hillary rode him until she was drunk with pleasure.

The room smelled of sex, both of them sweating in spite of the weather condition.

Bill could no longer take it. It was just too much, so he finally gave into his pleasure. He switched their position with him on top of her. She protested, "no, Bill please, I can't—" but Bill cradled her head and cooed her by saying, "we'll finish now, okay?" She nodded, her body on fire as she was on her brink of orgasm. Bill pressed a kiss on her lips and said, "Wrap your legs around me." Hillary had her legs locked around his waist, and her arms wrapped around his back. She held him tight as Bill increased his pace. Her moans mingled with his groans. Hillary bit her lips stifling her cries almost drawing blood. She held his gaze, remembering the moment. Bill could drown in the depth of her stare. His pace quickened until he felt her muscles clenched, her nails biting on his back scraping his skin that made Bill hissed. "Bill—" she called his name panting. "Bill... I—" a few more sure and deep stroke, Hillary threw her head back and cried his name over and over again as a wave of orgasm came crashing upon her. Bill muffled her cries with his mouth, and he gave a few more deep thrust, and he joined her and reached his climax, spending himself inside her.

Bill collapsed on top of her spent, boneless. Hillary didn't release her hold. She held him tight, then she ran her hand from his back to his nape, until she was brushing his salt and pepper hair. He pulled back a little to look at her face. His eyes gentle, he touched her cheek and then kissed her swollen lips the last time.

After a while, the storm had passed, and the rain had weakened. Bill and Hillary laid on their side looking at each other with his hand on her hips caressing. Her hand on his cheek, her thumb brushing his skin. They marveled at each other and had realized that they fell a little more deeply in love with one another. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you too." She replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> （；^ω^） Alright, so I hope you liked the chapter. You might wonder what made me dedicate an entire chapter for love scene. The past few episodes had been intense. Considering that they separated for some time, I wanted to highlight the passion and the longing. Plus, it had been an emotional ride. So I guess it was understandable. I hope I justified the scene and it didn't become too porn-ish. But let me know if it was porn-ish and what I can do to make the love scene intense without being too graphic. ヽ(ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ
> 
> Again thanks for all of your comments, and kudos! Until next chapter. ヾ(＾∇＾)


	13. Chapter 13

Bill can only stare at his wife sleeping. Her blond eyelashes are resting against her cheek. Her hands curled against the side of her face. He thought about the life they had and the kind of life he had given her. He was eternally grateful for her strength, for her love; he remembered about how she remained steadfast when everyone had lost their faith in him. How she stood there wet in the rain when she had a choice to stay in the party, dry and be swept away by a man who might love her better than he could. But yet there she was standing in the rain with him.

_"[w]hy didn't you didn't hit him back?" She asked. "I don't want to hit someone you love." "Well, you're hurting him right now." She said. "What do you mean?" "You're hurting yourself."_

He traced her face with his gaze and thought about the miles that they have covered in the course of their marriage and how in that narrow shoulder of hers, she was able to carry them. How she can hold on and not give up. He thought if he married someone less than her he might be alone now.

He always believed in selfless love. He would have given her a divorce if she asked for it after their life in White House. He would have let her go if she chose to stay with John. But she? She believed in staying. She finds a reason why the fight is worth to continue. She's not the kind of person who buckles at first sign of a challenge.

 _My girl?_ She fights, she's never a quitter.

And for that, he would always be grateful for her. She gave him a lifetime to treasure.

He made an audible sigh that made her stir, she fluttered her eyelids, and she slowly opened her eyes and found Bill staring at her. "What's wrong?" She asked almost in a whisper. "Nothing," he said, and he reached out to kiss her cheeks, "sleep." He told her as gathered her close until she laid her head against his chest.

### 

**Annual Meeting Clinton Global Initiative, New York, New York**

Hillary sat in front of the stage as Bill took the podium in celebration of the Annual meeting by their foundation. Bill cleared his throat and looked at the audience. He had been contemplating if he would share what happened in Africa. Bill hasn't shared it with anyone yet. He couldn't do it because it felt like opening a wound that's still healing. Sharing it also would mean admitting that he had lost someone's life because of his failure.

But maybe it's time

He took a deep breath.

Hillary watched Bill as she cradled Daniel to her chest, holding his tiny hand. Bill glanced at their direction; his eyes landed on his son who looked up at Hillary full of trust. He remembered the same scenario in Africa, how a little tiny hand gripped his, and how he failed that boy.

He cleared his throat, shaking his head a little bringing him back in the present time. _Focus, focus._ he thought.

He began, "Can I tell you a story?" he asked. The people giggled, and Bill waited for them to respond, so someone shouted, "Yes!" in the distance.

Bill gave a small smile, "Alright, I'll tell you something that I haven't shared with anyone, not even to my wife." He glanced in Hillary's direction. And although she smiled back, she felt unsure how this 'revelation' will turn out to be. Bill looked down on the paper he was holding and gripped it and started, "On our way to this remote little town in Nigeria called Noubou, we saw a kid lying on the ground left to die there. I initially thought that it was a huge rock, because—well—a part of me couldn't surmise the thought that I'd witness something as cruel as leaving a child on the ground under a scorching heat to die. But it was a child, I thought. I told our driver to stop because... I mean, we just couldn't leave the kid there."

Bill looked at a distance seemingly taken by his memory. He closed his eyes remembering the moment and continued "I was prohibited from getting out of the car because they said that the child was left because of disease or something. They told that me that we couldn't stop because there are things that we need to consider such as being hi-jacked or what."

"You know, while I understand that these people care about my welfare, but my conscience couldn't just take it. I told them to stop the car, or I'll jump." Bill chuckled remembering how he was clutching the handle of the door of the car threatening to jump out. The driver looked at him horrified.

Bill blinked back into reality, and continued, "But of course, they stopped the car."

"When I got out and checked the kid, I found the child lying on the ground in a fetal position. He was so small so frail so thin. I knew then that probably the kid had just barely few hours to live." Bill swallowed as his throat started to tighten.

"I carried the child back into the car, and we went to the small local clinic in Noubou. The volunteer doctors from England, Doctor Sanjaya Gupta who's here, by the way," Bill turned his head looking at where Doctor Gupta was sitting, and he nodded in his direction. "He was the one which accommodated me, he told me that the kid was suffering from severe malnutrition, and probably left because it's hopeless. They said that it's common for kids to be left to die."

Bill's eyes widened in disgust and said in emphasis, "Can you imagine? It's common. For. Kids. To. Be. Left. To. Die."

He cleared his throat as he continued, "How can that be common? How can we just normalize something as cruel as leaving a child to die just because they are hopeless?" He stopped and waited for his statement to sink in.

"When doctor Sanjaya told me to log-in the kid, we realized that the child has no name at all. So there I named him, Daniel." The camera turned where Hillary was sitting, and focused on their infant who was sleeping. It dawned on the people in the venue that Bill shared the name of the child he found in Africa and his son. "The kid was a boy. I would have named him Diane though if it was a girl. I know you understand why I chose that name." Hillary bit her lips as she realized why Bill opted to name the boy after her, and why he had chosen to name their son after her. "I wanted to be reminded that this little life that I held in my arms was in honor to my wife."

"Doctor Sanjaya told me that it would take months for Daniel to get back to his health, might be even years. He asked me if there's someone who will take care of him. I looked around at the people I was with and realized that none of them will—of course—take him."

"I'm thinking they probably, internally telling me, "I told you so." People laughed, Bill, bit his lips as he smiled.

"But, you know what, exactly at that moment, I made a commitment to take care of Daniel. Doctor Sanjaya told me that the chances of his survival are slim because his body is no longer accepting nutrients. I can't also feed him that much because it would kill him. But I took the challenge. I didn't want to give up on Daniel." _Just as he won't give up on us,_ Hillary thought. Her eyes started to blurry from her unshed tears. So this is the reason what also kept him in Noubou, she thought.

"That night, while I was cradling him quieting him to sleep, I wondered about my choices. Why on earth have I taken this child that I had no relations? I didn't know then, but it felt right. I was talking to Daniel, who didn't understand me, and told him that he needs to hang on, that we'll see through his ordeal. That I would do my best to help him, but I asked him if he can promise to trust me."

Bill stopped, and he swallowed again as he remembered that moment. He looked up at the ceiling hoping that he wouldn't start crying. "And you know what? He gripped my finger. It was a weak grip, because probably of his health. But he did grip me. A child just puts his trust on me. A stranger. A nobody to him."

"I thought then that the doctor might say that his chances are slim, but I had faith. I thought—clichè as it may seem—love might heal him. So in short, I fell in love there. I fell in love with the boy that I hardly knew." Bill smiled a little; his eyes were misty.

"So day in and day out, I worked to take care of him. I fed him. I bathe him. I hum at him at night. But he would cry and cry and cry because he was in pain."

"Honestly, I wanted to give up. I wanted... I wanted to because all of these were adding a burden to those that I have left back home." Bill could no longer help it, but his tears fell. "I chose someone that I do not have any relations with and left my wife and unborn son for him. I knew that my wife would probably be so angry at me, but I was left with no choice. I made a commitment. Daniel trusted me with his life. I thought how could I leave a child who had no one else in his life? How could I leave someone who had hope in me?"

Bill tears came streaming, and he didn't do anything to wipe it, "I honestly don't know the consequences of my decision then, but I prayed, and hoped that _maybe_ there's goodness in all of these, that maybe my wife would understand in the end."

"I had to juggle the work in the community, and me being a father to Daniel. Every morning I have to wake up to attend to his needs. Then I would walk far to get him to the clinic and to work in the community. It was tiring. It exhausted me. But I never complained, all I had in my mind was my desperation to keep him alive, to help the community, and to go back to my pregnant wife. My love for them drove me to endure. It might have been easier to quit, but when you love, you just can't." 

"For months I worked tirelessly to keep him alive, fighting my loneliness, bleakness, and fear that I'm losing my family every day that I spent my time away from them." He stopped and took a deep breath, "But I kept going. Love does that." Bill bit his lips, as he knew he's going to the part that caused him pain, "But one night though he was burning up. He was crying endlessly. I was panicking; I didn't know what to do. I had to walk and beg to be taken to the clinic because I couldn't wait for the service to arrive. I told the secret service that I was with to go and find a ride. But it was taking them so long, so I left on my own."

Bill again started to cry, that it took him so long to continue. "It took me hours to get to the clinic on foot. It was night, and it was cold. I was trying to keep him warm by embracing him." He took a deep breath and said, "When we got there Doctor Sanjaya just told me... he... he... he told me that it's too late, Daniel just... He..." Bill looked up at the ceiling, as he was choking up on his tears, "Daniel just died."

"He died in my arms. I wept. It sliced me up. I was so heartbroken that I had cried, and I wailed because I had failed him." The audience was silent save for others who were heard sniffing. 

Then he continued earnestly, "I buried him when the morning came. I wrapped him in linen from the clinic. I didn't even have a decent burial for him. We just buried him in a nice soft ground." He looked up at the crowd and said, "Not once I had regretted that I stayed in there far away from my family. The only regret that I had was that: I didn't try hard enough."

"Daniel is just one of the many children who dies in Noubou, Nigeria because of hunger, because of poverty. But let's not give up on them. They need us. They need our help. This foundation would want to focus on the development of that community so that we could save another Daniel." People clapped, and once it ended, he proceeded, "We want to find a sustainable means to help the community fight poverty, and allow people of Noubou have a second chance in life."

"What I learned in Africa stuck with me. It taught me about life, death, hope, and love. In Africa, it was the place I seek for comfort, and there I had my heart broken too." Then he glanced at Hillary who held his stare, her eyelashes were spiked because of the tears that she had shed hearing his story and his struggle, "But having my heart broken opened doors for me to love again. To love life, to love the vulnerable, to cherish the people I can't live without, to not give up, to trust, to be selfless, and to love others tirelessly."

"I hope my story touched your heart, as the experience did touch mine."

"Thank you and good evening."

People clapped and gave him a standing ovation. Bill smiled and waved. The camera focused on him, and when it turned to Hillary, she was seen placing a kiss on the top head of their baby.

### 

Hillary allowed Chelsea to hold Daniel for a minute because she needed to find Bill. She looked for him at the backstage and found him talking to John Podesta. "Bill—," she called. Bill turned to her and tapped John in the arm to excuse himself.

Bill hurriedly went to her, and the moment that he was near enough to reach, he crushed her to him. He embraced her, and Hillary held him tight. She rubbed her hand on his back and held the back of his head as Bill opened himself to his pent up emotion and cried on her shoulder. He muffled his cry on her shoulder that Hillary had to silence him. "Sssh, it's okay, honey." Then she pulled him in the corner and had him sat down beside her. "I'm so sorry; I'm so sorry. I stayed in Africa because of them." She turned her body to him and held his face, "Why didn't you tell me?" She asked searching his gaze. "I couldn't; I couldn't because it pains me to remember it. I kept remembering how his life left his small body. I failed him, Hill, just as I have failed you; I'm so sorry." Hillary shook her head and said, "It's okay, honey. I forgive you, and no, you didn't. I am so proud of you, of the life that you had helped in that community, your capacity to love—even those you do not know, even with risks, and that's what I love about you. Your courage, your selflessness. You might think that you are a failure, but to me, Bill, you are just as human. I wish you told me so I could have shared your burden, but I love you in spite of it. Do you understand?" She said, holding his gaze. Bill nodded, and Hillary reached out to wipe his tears. She pulled his head as she pressed a kiss on his forehead.

### 

**A few days after**

Bill had felt it once, twice, and thrice. He had started feeling it after the Annual meeting of their Foundation. He thought it was probably an acid reflux because of too much coffee. But the burn in his chest had been undeniable. It had been consistent.

He had stopped drinking coffee then thinking that probably it has been the cause of the burning sensation in his chest, but here it is again, tightening and burning.

It would start in his solar plexus then towards the center of his chest. He took a deep breath; maybe he really ought to start with water therapy.

He was trying to reach for a glass of water when the security head of their building and the secret service came barging into his office, and the fire alarm started to ring. "Sir, you have to leave the building, we have a situation."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ╭( ･ㅂ･)و I hope you like the update guys. It took me quite a while to update this because of _real life_. HEHEHE. Anyway, will update again this Thursday/Friday! Let me know what you think about this chapter. Talk to you soon!
> 
> PS: I will respond on your comments soon. I wanted just to update =)


	14. Chapter 14

Hillary was pacing at home while cradling her son and holding his tiny hand. Her mind lost in thoughts of different scenarios. She received a call earlier from John Podesta informing her that they received a bomb threat and he couldn't find Bill. He called her to ask if she heard from him. John tried to avoid telling her about it, but she caught him. "Have you heard from Bill?" He asked unsurely. "Isn't he with you?" She asked as she cradled the phone on her shoulder. She bent down to write something on her dossier. "He was, he was. Umm..." Hillary caught the worry on his tone that she ended up asking, "is there something wrong?" John furrowed his eyebrow then asked, "haven't you heard about... something?" Hillary stopped what she was doing and asked, "about what?" John was contemplating if he would tell her or not because frankly, he doesn't want to worry her. Hillary snaps at him, "spill it, John." "Alright, I'm not sure if you heard, but there was a bomb threat earlier." He announced, waiting for her to respond. He heard her quick intake of breath; then she asked quite calmly. "I haven't heard from him. It's just a false alarm, right?" "I'm sure it is, but we were escorted out. I haven't seen him yet." He said, "and I couldn't reach his phone." 

It was all that Hillary needed to hear, "can I call you back, John? Please if you heard from Bill, call me." Then she hung up. She called Bill and got a busy line, after few more attempt hers went through. Bill answered on the fifth ring. "Good God, Bill, why are you not answering your phone?" She asked furiously. "I was with the security." He said as Bill nodded at the head of security. He was already out of the building and was with the NYPD a few meters away from the building when he received her call. "They were briefing me about the bomb threat. They had dispatched K-9 unit and the bomb squad to check out the building. I was—" He was about to say something when the head of the NYPD bomb squad came in. He knew they have an important matter to say, so he cut down the conversation and said, "Darling, I'm sorry, but I have to go. I'll call you again later." 

Hours had gone by, and it's already past 7 o'clock in the evening, and he hasn't called yet. Although there were no reports of any bomb explosion, Hillary couldn't help but worry.

She tried to take her mind away from the worry by playing with Daniel and working on her drafts for the resolutions that she will be passing when the Senate goes back to session. For a while, she forgot about the bomb threat when she remembered that she needed to call John Kerry soon. She hasn't talked to him for a few weeks now after the party, and although she was angry at him for hitting Bill, she knew that she needs to fix their friendship soon, he was still her friend anyway. She had asked Bill what made John hit him one night while they lounge on their bed spending time together with Daniel between them kicking in the air as Bill casually tickled his belly. "I think he got furious by the fact that after eight months alone with you, he couldn't win you." Bill turned his eyes towards her, bit his lips, and added, "that at the end of the day, you are still with me."

She heard the door opened, she rushed out and saw Bill closing the main door. She hurriedly went to him, when Bill turned, she threw herself at him and wrapped him in an embrace. "Wow," Bill said surprised by how Hillary had welcomed him home. He automatically clutched her to him, "don't you dare do that, please." she said against his chest. "Do what?" "Not calling!" He hugged her tightly and said, "I'm sorry it was a rough day. I barely had time to eat." He said as they walk side by side into the hallway, his arm still around her shoulder, while she had her arms around his waist. "Have you eaten?" She asked, "Yeah, I already did." He said as he turned to drop a kiss on the crown of her head. "Tell me what happened?" She asked. 

Bill had told her about the whole story of the bomb threat while they both enjoyed a non-sexual shower together. She rubbed his chest with the soapy scrub as he told her the reports of the NYPD. Bill watched her as she washed him. Then when she finished rubbing him, he took the scrub from her, washed it and squeeze another liquid soap on it. The smell of lavender filled the room. "Turn," he told her as he rubbed her back with the scrub. "And they say that it's just a false alarm. It distracted the activities that day. We had to pick up at around three in the afternoon. Hence I was not able to call. I also had to wait for the final report regarding the incident." He downplayed it by saying it casually. Hillary turned her head to the side when she felt Bill crouched as he pressed the scrub on her buttocks, "did you know that you have dimples on your back? Have I mentioned it?" Hillary gave a short laugh and said, "good job on trying to distract me." Bill chuckled, "I wasn't trying to distract you. It was a random observation. I love it." He said as he finished scrubbing the back of her legs. Before he stood fully erect, he gave those dimples a kiss. Hillary turned and encircled her arms around his neck, Bill automatically leaned down and rested his forehead against hers, "I know what you are doing, you're trying to lighten the event by passing it off like as if it meant nothing. You are deliberately doing that because you know I was upset." She whispered. Bill smiled, "Well, what do I know? My wife knows me so much." Hillary smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. Bill tipped his head down trying to look at her eyes, "what's wrong?" He asked pulling her into an embrace. "I'm just worried," she said rubbing her cheek on his chest as the water from the shower continues to run on their body. Bill didn't press anymore because he knew it upsets her.

Bill thought she had already let it go, but as it looks like she was still thinking about it. She was lying on her side, her head pillowing his chest, his arm around her shoulder idly brushing her hair while he was reading a book, out of nowhere she said, "when you shared your story about Africa, it dawned on me how fragile life is. I don't want anything to happen to you that's why I am so upset that you did not call." Bill stopped brushing her hair and turned his head towards her, his cheek meeting her forehead. Hillary continued, "if it concerns your life, please, do not take it lightly. I want to know that at least that you are okay... I do not need you to update me every minute, but at least don't keep me hanging." Bill smiled against her skin, touched that she was worried about him. "I'm sorry," he said. She nodded, then she pulled back to look at him and reached out to touch his face making her look at him. "We almost lost each other too many times in this life," she added, "I do not want to keep on taunting life to prove the endurance of our relationship." His eyes gentle, the blue ring that surrounded his irises lighter this time. She held his gaze memorizing how his eyes look at that moment, "I love you so much, and I'm afraid to be apart from you again." She whispered.

How she looked at him at that time, Bill understood that deep on his bones how sincere her devotion was, and that knowledge stirred him. The way she held his face and said those words spoke of her true love, and it humbled him. It knocked the air off him to remember that through her love and believe in him, made him the man that he had become. If not for her, he wouldn't be where he is right now. He leaned down to kiss her, and her lips latched onto him prolonging and deepening the kiss until it turned passionately.

They made love that night, slow, and unhurriedly like as if they have all the time in the world. They savored the moment until they finished, spent, and boneless. Bill spooned her while she sleeps, then after a while, he felt that feeling again that tightening in his chest. He removed his hand that was wrapped around her waist to press against his chest. 

There, there it is again, that burn in his chest, that gripping feeling in his heart. Clutching, clutching. He knocked his chest a little ensuring that Hillary wouldn't wake up by his movement. He took a deep breath. _Relax_. He breathes out. 

He took a deep breath again, then his eyes landed on the back of her head, and he remembered what she told him, _"it dawned on me how fragile life is."_

Maybe he should visit the doctor soon, he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ╭( ･ㅂ･)و I hope you like the update. This chapter was supposed to include the other part, but I opted to put it on the other chapter instead for cohesiveness. *dodges the tomatoes thrown* I'm sorry, please don't hate. (/ω＼) But I swear, I'll give a better update this Sunday. (^-^)v
> 
> Again, let me know what you think of this chapter: a kudos, a violent reaction, an okay reaction are all welcome. Hope to hear from you.


	15. Chapter 15

Hillary sat anxiously in the corner of the restaurant that she had booked to meet John a few days later. She had been thinking of inviting him for lunch to fix whatever rift they have. As far as Hillary's concern, though, they don't have any disagreement. She had politely rejected him, although she knew that her rejection had probably stung him. She understands if his ego was hurt, after all, he tried to win her for eight months, and he did not succeed. She was looking at her hands when she felt a presence stood in front of her. She looked up and saw him standing just next to the chair opposite hers.

John was wearing a wool coat, with a scarf around his neck and tucked inside his jacket. She could see a crisp white shirt peeking at his scarf with a blue necktie, his hair as impeccable as it's always is. His eyes guarded.

"I thought if I should even show up or not." He said as he started to loosen his scarf.

"Why?" She asked.

"Maybe because I hate you?" He said without sarcasm, as he took the seat in front of her

He sighed and said, "I don't hate you per se, but I am annoyed of your incredible loyalty, and a little envious of Bill."

"But you are here?" She asked as she handed him the menu. "You have already ordered?" He asked, and she nodded. He looked down at the list, and he made a sigh again. "How can I not be here when my dear friend who's too good for her own, asked me to come?" He said more of a statement than a question. Hillary made a chuckle, and he looked at her over a menu. "Friends?" She asked. John smirked, "Of course." Hillary smiled widely giving him that overbite smile that's beautiful when it shouldn't. "I'm not going to pay for this lunch, though." He joked.

They enjoyed a lunch talking about her son, how his life had been, and their next collaboration in Senate. They were about to leave, and they were only waiting for the bill when John couldn't help himself but ask. "I wonder, and you don't have to answer if you think that it's too private, but how come, even though how much Bill had wronged you, you still choose to be with him?"

Hillary glanced at him and saw the curiosity in his deep-set eyes. She held his gaze, and said matter-of-factly, "I do not give up on people I love, John. Ever."

Her eyes glanced at a distance behind John as Bill arrived. John looked in the direction of her gaze, and he appeared not surprised by Bill's arrival. Bill approached them and stood beside her, and he nodded in John's direction and extended his hand. "Kerry." John looked at Bill's hand, and he glanced at Hillary, looking at her eyes. Hillary returned his stare as if a plea. John understood. She wants him and Bill to stop whatever disagreement they both have. It was an acceptance of defeat. While he would no longer pursue her, and it still stung his ego, he would accept what they are offering for _her_ sake. He took a deep breath, stood up, and shook Bill's hand, "Bill." He said. Hillary smiled and said, "we better go, John. I'll see you soon?" He stared at her, his gaze lingered. "Yes, of course. I'll see you soon." Bill smiled and said, "we'll see you soon, John."

Hillary and Bill smiled at him, as they walk out of the restaurant. John watched them when they were at a distance; he saw Bill placed his arm around Hillary's shoulder pulling her closer, a smile playing on her lips, smiling widely, looking up at her husband. It was how she looked up at Bill that spoke of her undeniable love for him. John now understood why Hillary would always choose Bill. She's profoundly and irrevocably in love with him, and John knew that Hillary would not settle for anything less. Bill said something that made Hillary throw her head back and laughed as they wait for their chauffeured car. John knew that sound, it was a sound of unrestrained happiness and contentment. His heart constricted by the thought that she's now far beyond his reach, and even with a heavy heart, he accepted his defeat.

###

_"But where are you going?” Hillary asked, squinting in the light that enveloped Bill. Bill gave her a soft smile, the lines on the side of his eyes crinkled. Those lines that she also loved. “Home.” He said, with a smile that she can also describe as sad. She reached out because she was afraid, afraid that when he steps into the light, she will never see him again. He held her hand, “Don’t go, honey.” She whispered. Her hands were tightening the grip._

_But he was slipping, slipping away from her. “Don’t go, please.” She pleaded. Bill, before he turned his back, held her face, “don’t ever forget me.” He dropped his head and kissed her lightly. Her tears fell the moment that their lips met, and then he was gone._

“NO!” She screamed waking up. Her head turned to where Bill was; Bill stirred from his sleep and sat up. "Hey, are you're okay? I'm here." He said while he wrapped her in his arms. "What's wrong?" He asked against her temple. Hillary held him tighter, "nothing." She said. She inhaled his scent, a musk that solely his. She pulled back and held his face, and suddenly a fear so intense grappled her heart. Her gut tells her that something is wrong, but she just couldn't point it out. For some unknown reason, she started to tear up. Bill tipped his head to look down at her, "what's wrong? You're scaring me, Hill." "I'm sorry it was just a nightmare. It scared me." She didn't want to say it. She's not even superstitious, but she didn't want to entertain the thought by saying it out loud. Bill wiped her tears with his palms. "Okay, stop crying," He murmured as he rocked her, "it's just a dream." Hillary nodded, of course, it was just a dream. But it felt real. He held her for a while until her nerves settled, then he said, "I'll let you go; I'll get you some water, alright?" He felt Hillary nodded; then he had loosened his hold. He rolled off the bed and went to the kitchen to get a drink.

When he came back with a glass of water, he found Hillary cradling their baby. He came near and took Daniel from her arms as he handed her the glass of water. Daniel was awake sucking on his thumb, his eyes which were light aquamarine blue like his was staring with wonder at him, a smile playing on his small bow lips. Bill rocked him and pulled his little thumb away from his mouth. "You'll look after your mom, young man." He said as his other hand brushes his wispy blond hair. Daniel cooed smiling at him. "Who will be mom's little defender?" He asked his brows raising at his son expectantly. Daniel started air kicking his chubby legs, smiling while making a coo sound. Bill laughed as he tickled his son's round tummy by raining it with smacking kisses.

Hillary watched from afar as Bill bonded with their child. How his laughter mixed with Daniel's coos were music to her ears. How he drop tickling kisses on his round belly were tattooed on her mind. She wanted to remember how they both looked like at that moment, the man of her life. Her heart swelled with love for both of them. She silently went behind him, and she embraced him from behind, "you are amazing," she said against his back. "Not as amazing as his mother," Bill returned as he leaned back against her, still cradling Daniel against his chest. They went back to their bed with their baby being held by Bill. They both leaned back while he set Daniel higher on his chest, Hillary's arm went around Bill's shoulder, and she placed a kiss on Bill's cheek, as she reached out to hold Daniel's little hand.

Bill broke the silence by saying, "I went to the doctor earlier and had a check up." Hillary stared at him and asked, "what do you mean?" Bill dropped a kiss on Daniel's soft head, and said, "for the past few days I had a burning sensation on my chest. I thought it was an acid reflux, but it had been persistent. I took some test and will get the result tomorrow." Bill pried open Daniel's closed fist, and he started kissing his little palm. "Why didn't you tell me?" Bill looked at her and said, "I don't want to worry you, and it probably doesn't mean anything, I think it's just heartburn." She gazed lovingly at his ruffled salt and pepper hair, and she ran her fingers on them, making the hair on his arm stood up. "What was your dream about, it's a nightmare isn't it?" He asked. She stopped and looked at him. It was on the tip of her tongue. _You left, and you never went back._ But she didn't say it. She didn't even want to entertain her thought. "It was just a silly dream."

"What time will be your appointment tomorrow?" She asked whispering, not taking her eyes off his face tracing them putting them in her memory. "Nine in the morning," Bill said.

###

Bill and Hillary arrived in the hospital exactly on time. They had left Daniel with Chelsea in the meantime as they do not want him exposed in the hospital. Bill and Hillary listened intently as the Doctor explained that what Bill was experiencing was not a simple heartburn but rather he was having an episode of angina, the result of his angiography indicated that he had multiple vessel coronary artery disease. Bill took the news calmly, whereas Hillary took it with anxiety. Her nightmare was nagging at the back of her head. The doctors had informed them that he needs to be checked into the hospital and perform a surgery the soonest. Hillary took care of his belonging as Bill got himself admitted to the hospital. They knew that they need to make an announcement as soon as possible. The hospital briefed the public through press conference of how the surgery would go, the former President's situation, the risk of the operation, and his chances of survival.

The Clintons didn't make an appearance, although the mainstream media had flocked outside the hospital, they allowed the Clintons to have their privacy. They reported who came in and out of the hospital. Bill received various well-wishers. Before the day ended, Bill had written a letter and had asked his good friend John Podesta to send the letter to John Kerry.

John looked at him as Bill handed him the letter, "a personal letter to Kerry?" He asked puzzled. John knew that he and Kerry were not good friends, and he was aware that Kerry was one of the reasons why he stayed in Africa. So John was wondering what could be so special for him to send a letter before his operation "Yes, don't delay it. I heard he's going back to Massachusettes soon." John stared at the letter. "Why would you write Kerry at the most inopportune time?" Bill turned and went to the window watching the people pass by moving on to their daily lives. If he weren't in the hospital, he and Hillary would be out on a dinner date, then they'd slow dance, and he'd make her laugh. "John, you're my good friend and a confidant. You know that I'm a kind of person who doesn't want to leave things without a contingent plan." John chuckled, "yeah apparently." John walked and sat on the nearest chair next to him, looking at Bill stare out of the window wearing a hospital garb, barefoot. Bill took a deep breath and said, "this operation has no guarantee, I might go into that room and never come back. I don't want to leave Hill alone... I have..." He cleared his throat. "Daniel is still young; he needs a father figure." John was taken aback with what Bill told him, understanding what the gist of the letter must contain. "So you want Kerry to take care of Hillary, then? She doesn't need him you know." Bill chuckled, "Of course, she doesn't need him. Hell, my girl can take care of herself. But during the time that I was away, I have to admit, Kerry took care of her. He had constantly been beside her. Heck, he had felt our son's first kick. I know Kerry would be a good man for both of them." Bill turned to look at John and saw his disapproval. "I know, you think I am probably making a mistake. But this letter meant so much to me, so please just send the message, alright?"

###

**Three hours before operation**

The sun had already set, and the moon had taken its place high above the heaven, just as the stars scattered like diamonds shining brightly in the sky promising of a clear and steady night time. The taking the place of night and day would have been regular to others, just as they knew the sun rises in the morning, and the moon shines at night. But to the Clintons, it might as well be the last twilight. 

Bill was answering the crossword puzzle when he heard a knock on the door, and Hillary peeked around the door. "I thought you'd never arrive," Bill said jokingly looking over at his eyeglass propped on the tip of his nose. Hillary loosened her scarf and took off her coat and placed them on the nearest chair. Bill scooted on the side and tapped the space beside him. Hillary smiled, took off her shoes and laid on the space beside him. "Here," Bill said arranging their body position until she was lying on her side with her head on his chest listening to the steady beating of his heart; his arms wrapped around her shoulders, "Your heart sounds okay," Hillary said. Bill chuckled and said, "even my heart knows how to listen to you." She absentmindedly made small circles on his chest, "how long have we got?" She asked, Bill, glanced at his watch and said, "we've got two hours and forty-five minutes." Bill reached out to touch her hand and said, "your hands are cold." She tightened her hold on his hand, "I'm scared." Bill pulled her hand and placed a kiss on the skin at the back, "don't worry, I'll be okay. Where's Daniel?" "He's with Chel; it took me awhile to quiet him." "Really? So what did you do?" Hillary looked up at him and said dead serious, "I sang." Bill gave a full belly laugh, "you sang! That's gold. I bet he realized that he better sleep or you won't stop singing." Hillary joined laughing at him. "How dare you poke fun of my hidden talent?" Hillary had intertwined their fingers and held them in front. "Have I told you that I love your hands?" Bill gave her a side look and said, "Yeah, you mentioned that you love them while in the throes of passion." He teased, Hillary gaped at him and said incredulously, "William Jefferson! I cannot believe that you even dare to bring that up!" Bill laughed and pulled her back, "Oh, Hill, I love teasing you." Hillary settled again on his side embracing him, holding him tight. She again held their hands in front, and her eyes landed on his wedding ring, "You never took them off." She observed, Bill, tilted his head to the side looking at the ring, "I love having them on my finger. It comforts me to see them because it reminds me of you." Bill then turned his head to gaze at her, "You know what, when I get out of that operation, I'll marry you again."

Hillary felt her heart beat harder on her chest hearing those words, "what?" She asked, "when this is all over, I want you, Hillary Rodham Clinton, to marry me again." She was at loss of words, Bill brushed her hair back, "will you?" Hillary blinked, and her tears fell, "Of course, of course." She said as her voice broke. She bent down her head to place a kiss on his knuckles. Bill's eyes gentled, and he pulled her for a kiss, "say it," he said, their face a few inches apart, his eyes misty too. "I'll marry you, William Jefferson Clinton. I'll marry you again in a heartbeat, so you better come back to me." She said as her tears fell uncontrollably now. He pulled her into an embrace as she started to sob against his chest as the reality sunk into them, that he might not come back after all. He held her. He suddenly regretted the times that they were apart, the times that he had hurt her. He wished he could spend his time longer with her, showering her with love and devotion instead of hurt and pain. "I love you with all of my being, with every beat of my heart, with every breath that I take, Hill." He whispered against her head. Now, it seems, saying how he felt for her was never enough. When she pulled back her nose was red, and her eyes a little puffy from tears. Bill wiped her tears, and she said, "You better come back to me William or else, I won't forgive you." Bill nodded in spite of his tears.

Chelsea arrived with Daniel an hour and a half before his operation. Bill was able to spend a few more minutes with Daniel having a man to man talk. He also spent a good time with Chelsea. Then thirty minutes before his operation, Hillary settled beside him silently savoring the moment. Bill enjoyed the silence too, remembering how she felt beside him, how her hair smelled, how she fits on his side, how her hands meet his. He tried to keep everything in this memory, for what he fears the most is forgetting.

"How long do we have?" She asked whispering. "Ten minutes."

_tick_  
tock  
tick  
tock 

A few minutes passed.

"A minute," Bill announced, and Hillary closed her eyes. Then the nurse arrived, and his doctor declared that it's time. Hillary rolled out of bed. She followed up to the hallway as they wheeled him in. They were about to wheeled him into the operating room, when Hillary called, "wait!" She said, and the doctor stopped, and they glanced at her. Hillary hurried up, "hold on." She said, she hurriedly went to him, and for the last time she kissed him and brushed his soft salt and pepper hair, "come back to me, Bill. Remember to stay with me." He smiled softly, touched her cheek, and said, "I'll always stay with you, Darling."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⊂◉‿◉つ I hope you like the update! My sincerest apology if there are medical inaccuracies in this chapter or the next one. There are only a few episodes left. I guess that we only have 3 or 4 before I close this series. As usual, I would love to hear your thoughts, and I will update by Tuesday. (o^-')b


	16. Chapter 16

The firm smell of disinfectant inside the room teased Bill's nostrils. He heard a clang of metals in the distance, doctors, and nurses had roamed around him. He heard murmurs passed between them. They all wore an identical green hospital garb, making it hard for him to point out who is who as they all wear the same clothes, and mask. His doctor, Doctor Ornish, who will be performing his surgery appeared on his side. He squinted against the light.

"Sir, can you please count down from 10?"

Bill took a deep breath as he knew that they would start with the operation.

"Ten."

"Nine."

"Eight."

Bill's eyes started to flutter. He felt suddenly groggy.

"Seven."

His eyelids were becoming heavier this time.

"Six."

Darkness was slowly enveloping him, and ever so slowly, he knew he was drifting away.

"Fi—"

Then darkness.

His last thoughts were of the face of his wife; then he was asleep.

###

_Four hours._

They said that the surgery would last for four hours. It doesn't sound long, but to Hillary, it felt like a lifetime. She sat in the waiting room feeling nothing. She refuses to entertain any feelings at the moment. Her mind blank. She didn't even want to contemplate on the fact that there is only two outcome of this: Bill comes alive, or not.

Hillary remained optimistic. Well, of course, he will get out okay. Bill's strong as a horse. Besides, he promised that they would re-marry after his operation. He better makes good on his promise; he doesn't want to leave his bride alone.

The thought of her being a bride at 54 almost had her laughing. Seriously, a bride at 54?! She cannot imagine how many Republicans would roll their eyes on them. How they would click their tongue and accuse them of false appearances to gain public affection.

People had been critical of their marriage ever since Bill had taken a political career. What is important is that they know the truth: they love each other.

Ridiculous as it may seem, but to her, it no longer matters. She learned that when faced with a possibility of death, one become desperate to stretch the time: One more chance to kiss, to touch, to laugh. A minute is never enough. Death never felt real until it stared at you.

She thought that if they have a chance to be together again after this, she'll spend more time with him, after all when all is said and done, all they have are memories.

She momentarily closed her eyes as she recalled everything from the start. How everything looked like a videotape on a rewind on her mind, wherein she can take certain pauses on the scenes that she would like to watch again.

She remembered their confrontation after another article about him being in the same event with his former mistress surfaced. He denied the allegations and told her that it was coincidental. But she was filled with jealousy that a simple confrontation ended up in a shouting match, which led to her she throwing the books at him wounding him eventually.

She almost laughed at how they both look during that time: her furiously attending to his wound, him angry at her outburst. She remembered how he made an excuse that the reason he got his wound is that he bumped his head on the door.

What a nut! She bit the insides of her mouth preventing herself from giggling.

But she admired him that in spite of her volcanic temper he never had hurt her physically. He warned her then that people would constantly try to separate them. He gripped her arms and told her bitingly. _"It's gonna be hard. We live in a world where people would constantly hurt, and separate us. But I'm gonna fight them, and I'm gonna fight for you and this marriage. So you better buckle up, because it's gonna be a hell of a ride." ___

And it was. It was a hell of a ride. It was a rollercoaster of emotions. It was an adventure of pain, of happiness, of laughter, of love. But she loves every minute of it.

She remembered how he drove a rented top-down car in the spacious highway back when they were in Arkansas. He smiled at her while the air ruffled his light brown hair. She thought that she was lucky to marry such a gorgeous man.

She thought about how they both stole glances back in Yale. How, she thought, that he looked like a Viking with that long hair, and bushy beard. And how he prepared a bowl of soup and brought her a glass of juice when she was sick. She knew that he was special.

She had many favorite memories of him: both painful and beautiful. Her heart constricted when she remembered how he held her gaze and held her hand when she delivered Chelsea, and then Daniel. How he would laugh, and the way his eyes would crinkle. How his hand felt. How he cried.

Oh, God, how she missed him already. She cannot afford to lose him now. Not now, please. Not now.

She stood and decided to go somewhere before she breaks down in the presence of their friends and family.

###

It was like as if he was falling in a tunnel of darkness. Falling... falling... Bill knew he was dreaming. But with him falling in abyss was terrifying. He couldn't see anything but total darkness. It had enveloped him the moment his eyes had shut; then he was falling.

_Is this what it's like when you are dying? Is he even dead? Is he dreaming?_

But his fall was continuous until he saw a light at the end of the tunnel.

###

Hillary was walking in the hallway when she heard John Kerry called her. "Hill!" He said as he jogged towards her. Hillary turned her head where he was coming from, "Are you alright?" He asked when he came near her. Hillary nodded, then he gently pulled her into an embrace. When she pulled back, she asked, "I thought you'd be flying back to Massachusettes?" "I was supposed to, but Bill's letter arrived. He gave me a letter, and..." He started to fish something in the inside pocket of his coat, "...and he wants me to give this to you. I couldn't leave, he said that it's important that I give this letter to you." He finished, handing her the letter. Hillary looked down on the item in his hand, and she was surprised to know that Bill had given her a letter through John. She looked up at John, and he understood that she wants to read it alone. "I'll be in the waiting room." Hillary nodded.

Hillary took a few turns around the hospital until she found an empty room for privacy. She shut the door and unfolded the letter.

>   
>  _To my dearest wife, Hillary;_
> 
> _By the time that you have read this, I might still be in the operating room, just as what I had instructed John to do. I hope that the letter didn't arrive late. I hope it's not yet too late._
> 
> _I have so much to say, but I couldn't find the words. There is no perfect description of what I am feeling at the moment that I am writing this letter but just gratefulness. I am eternally grateful for you. You made my 55 years worth living. You gave me a lifetime to treasure. I wish I could say it in person, but I know that it will upset you if I did._
> 
> _Hill, I want you to know that I have loved you. I love you where ever I was, where ever I am right now. I loved you back in Yale. I loved you when you returned that gaze back in the library. I loved you in Arkansas when you had left your life and decided to be with me. I had loved you in Washington when you stood beside me in the darkest moment in my life. I loved you in New York where you had decided to give me a chance and built our life anew, and I have loved you while I was alone in Africa. And I loved you still while I lay fighting to live again to have a chance to say all of these in person._
> 
> _I want you to know that I had never loved anyone as much as I have loved you. God, I wish, we could live a hundred more years together. We'll laugh more; we'll see more plays, we'll help more community, we'll help save more lives, we'll make love more, and we'll dance until the next hundred years._
> 
> _Hill, when I make it on my surgery, I swear to God, I would dedicate my life loving you, and making you feel cherished. But if I did n't survive, I want you to pick everything back again eventually. You have great things to accomplish. I know you'd hate me for trying to push you to John, but I hope you'd open your heart and at least try to learn how to love him as you had loved me. I saw in him the kind of love that you had given me, and I know, and I will be comforted that you are going to be taken care of when I am no longer around. Just try._
> 
> _If I meet our God, I will thank Him because of all people; He gave you to me. I'm not sure what I did to deserve you, but I am glad that He chose me as your husband._
> 
> _You are my life Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton, and I am eternally yours._
> 
> _I love you forever, and I will see you soon._
> 
> _No goodbyes._
> 
> _— B_  
> 

Hillary clutched the letter to her heart as tears came pouring down her face, and a sob racked her body. _Bill, please, you can't leave just yet. Please, stay._

###

Bill squinted against the light. After falling through the darkness, he ended up lying on the ground, ground so soft. Bill felt incredibly light, at peace. A part of him tells him that he's finally home. A part of him knew that it was all a dream, which eventually he would wake up and return to his wife.

_Hillary_

He closed his eyes trying to remember how she looked like, how she felt against him. _I'll be back soon, Darling._

He looked around and only saw an expansive horizon of lightness. It looks like he was on a hill or something. On top of a mountain? The light that surrounded him is exactly like that in the sunrise: strong but not burning. He tipped his head up as he basks in the light.

Then he heard it, a gentle laugh of a child at a distance. He turned his head and saw a kid standing a few feet away from him. He was dark skinned. He was surrounded by light. He was about 5 - 6 years old. He was a medium built according to his age. Bill tilted his head on the side gazing.

The child ran towards him and crushed his little body embracing him on his waist. He recoiled a little from the impact; then he heard him call him, "Papa!" Bill gazed on his curly dark hair; then it dawned on him that the kid who was embracing him was Daniel. The child from Noubou, Africa. He didn't know how he knew; he just knew that this is him.

Bill crouched until he was eye level with him. His eyes were like dark chocolate. He was beautiful. Bill held his face, this... this... is the child he had failed. He tried to remember the time that he was running in the middle of the night trying to save his life, and he remembered how it felt when his life left his little body. But he's here standing before him alive.

His attention riveted on the distance behind Daniel and he saw his mother walking towards them. He couldn't believe it. His mom! The scene was all fresh in his mind. He remembered how he sat in front of her grave as Bill wept when he thought that it's over between him and Hillary.

He was sitting on the grass facing the gravestone bearing the name of his mother, when he said, _"I know that you are probably angry right now knowing that I did not bring Hill and Chelsea here, but I swear I tried. I tried to invite her to come here with me, but it seems like it didn't work. I wish you are still here so I could tell you things, and you could get mad at me for breaking Hill's heart, for not trying hard enough to be a good husband." He took a deep breath, and exhaled as he whispered: "I miss you, mom." He, then buried his face in his hand as he wept for all the things that he had lost._

Bill then thought: Is he dead?

###

Hillary stood next to the window watching the city light, absentmindedly watching the coming and goings of cars. _Hill_ , she turned her head as she thought that someone called her. _I'm still here_. She turned her head again and shook it, why is she hearing him in her head?

On her peripheral, she saw some hospital staff jog, and she heard someone say, "code red room 145."

_Bill_

She thought something's wrong.

###

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

The sound of the flatline had Doctor Ornish's adrenaline jumping. "He's having a heart attack. He's going; he's going." Someone announced. He started massaging Bill's heart. "Not on my table, Sir! Not on my table!"

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

###

"Am I dead, mom?" Bill asked. "Not yet, but it's in your hands if you want to stay."

Everything was coming back to his mind, his life rewinding before his eyes.

_Come back to me_

Bill held his head as he realized that he might not come back. _No, not yet, please._

He saw how Hillary kissed him and brushed his hair for the last time.

_Remember to stay with me, Bill._  
_I'll always stay with you, Darling._

###

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

"You can't die on my table!" Doctor Ornish said as they injected something on his heart to pump. "Please, not today!" Doctor Ornish eyes turned to Bill's hand as it rolled on the side. Doctor Ornish know that sign. He's too familiar with this scene.

And on the very last time, Bill's tears rolled down on his temple; Doctor Ornish saw it, and he knew Bill just left.


	17. Chapter 17

Hillary hurriedly went onto the direction of Bill's operating room. She passed through the waiting room. John caught her in his peripheral that he stood in alarm. He exchanged looks with Chelsea, then he followed her.

Hillary knew in her heart that something was wrong. The image of her dream kept flashing back in her mind. _"Don't forget me._ She vividly remembered how Bill kissed her the last time. It felt too real. _Was it a goodbye?_ Then she saw in her mind how he stood against the light, how he smiled gently, turned his back, and how, suddenly, he was gone.

She was running now, but before she could even reach the door, John caught and pulled her back. "No!" She protested. "Sssh, it's okay, Hill. It's okay." John said against her ear, pulling her away from the door. "I got you." Hillary turned to face him; her eyes were glassy with tears. "You don't understand, John. Something is wrong." She said struggling in his arms. "You can't go inside; you know that." She felt so desperate, helpless that she couldn't do anything to save him. She struggled against him until it exhausted her that she ended up crying. "I'm losing him, John." She wept as she sagged against his chest. "And I don't think that I can make it without him."

### 

Bill was walking hand in hand with Daniel beside him and his mother on his other side. The hill where they are on seems endless. Until they ended up walking in a field of flowers. They pass through a variety of flowers of different kinds and colors. He could see a lake a few meters away from them, then a single humongous tree with leaves in hues of fire across the lake. The leaves of the tree were so bright and so alive it looks like it was a fire. The place looks entirely golden and vibrant in his eyes.

"You need to stop trying so hard, Billy." Bill glanced at his mother. Her profile turned to him. At that time she looks like she was at her 50's. Her hair with volume, her skin soft. "All throughout your life your insecurities and your desire to prove your worth is driving you to make mistakes." Bill turned his head to look at the tree. "I know why you feel that way, and I forgive you." Bill looked at her, and his mother returned his stare. "I know you hate yourself that you could not defend me when your father was hurting me. The reason why all throughout your life you continue to try so hard because you feel lacking."

It suddenly returned to him, how he lay on his bed as his father would arrive drunk and would repeatedly beat his mother over and over again. How his mother cried for help, and he was unable to do anything. And when his dad had left his mom alone, Billy would come running to her and would wipe her tears and tend to her bruises and wounds. "I'm sorry momma, I'm so sorry." Little Billy would say his eyes blurred from his tears. Bill carried his guilt all throughout his life, trying to please others, trying so hard to be significant, to be at his best. He did that because somehow he wanted to fill in the guilt of not being able to save his mother.

"You were young then, Billy. It wasn't your fault. Stop trying to make up in the past by trying so hard. I want you to know that I am proud of the kind of man you had become." She said as she held his cheek, his tears fell unchecked. "Ma—" He said, then held himself because he just didn't know what to say. Virginia pulled him, and then he wept on her shoulder. His shoulder racked with pent up emotion.

### 

Every minute ticked, Hillary closed her eyes as she tightened her hold against John.

_Please, Bill. You promised me... You promised me that you'll always stay with me_

###

Bill, still embracing his mother, tipped his head up, as the wind suddenly blew against them. He gazed at the horizon.

_Remember to come back to me, Bill._

His mother pulled back from his embrace. "You better leave. You have to go now, Bill. Your wife is waiting for you."

Bill gazed far on the right, clueless how. Virginia pushed him gentle. She gripped his face. "You need to hurry up, Bill. Or you won't be able to come back, ever."

Bill was about to take a step when Virginia added, "You were right about Hillary. I'm glad that you fought for her because she was exactly the person that you needed. Her love for you had always been genuine. Hurry up now, son. You need to go back to her while you can." Bill nodded, panicked. Daniel who was holding his hand tugged him. "Here, Papa. Here." He said pulling him hard. Then Daniel was running. Bill jogged, then he ran, following Daniel.

### 

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

The continuous beep was relentless. It was deafening. Doctor Ornish knew that he had already lost Bill. He had been pumping, helping his heart to beat again, but to no avail. He felt his life had left his body, but he wasn't calling it. No, he's not going to declare it yet.

Not on his table.

### 

Bill ran as the hue around him was turning reddish, from gold. It looks like how the sun was setting. Never had he felt so frightened by the fact that he might not be able to make it.

His eyes landed on the back of Daniel's head, and he remembered that night in Africa: how he held him closer against his chest, protecting him from the cold. _"Hold on to me, Danny. We are close. Hold on. Papa will take you to the clinic." His tears had been running on his cheeks then because he was afraid that he might not make it. He might fail him._

"Hold on; we're near!" Daniel called running ahead of him.

Bill remembered how he held his small, frail hands then. _"Hold on, Daniel. We're almost there." Just a few hundred meters from help, he felt Daniel's little body sagged against him, and his life just left him._

They stopped. Bill looked at where they were, and it seems like they were on the edge of the mountain. The wind was stronger here, howling. Bill crouched. "Thank you." He said. Daniel touched his cheek; his hands were dark against his face. "No, thank you, because you showed me love, and you set me free from pain. You saved me." Daniel said as he leaned down to embrace him.

Bill closed his eyes, and then, again, total darkness.

### 

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

"Call it!" Doctor Sullivan was standing next to Doctor Ornish said. "He's gone." Doctor Ornish gazed at Bill's face. He looks at peace. He continued to massage Bill's heart. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Doctor Ornish never felt more devastated in his 30 years in the profession. Doctor Ornish let go of Bill's heart.

He took a deep breath, glanced at his watch. "Time of—" Doctor Sullivan touched his arm.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep

There it was, a faint pulse. Everyone stopped moving. It was like as if the time stopped ticking. The doctors watched if the flatline would continue.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep

"Get me the syringe." Doctor Ornish said his eyes never leaving the monitor.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

But the pulse had been persistent. Weak, but it was there. "Son of a gun, he's fighting." Doctor Sullivan said. They hustled helping Bill get his heart start pumping again. They were careful, but their motions were sure. Besides, they do not want to lose a former President on their table.

It took them a few more hours when they finished their operation and had sewed him back. Doctor Ornish gave a sigh and stared proudly at Bill.

"I'll be damned, but you, Sir, are a fighter." Doctor Ornish told Bill smiling.

"Welcome back to your new life, Mr. President."

### 

Hillary was sitting next to John and said, "I'm not sure what Bill told you in his letter, but I have an idea." John just stared ahead. "I'm sorry John, while I love you as a friend, I'm not... that is..." Hillary struggled to say it. But John understood it. "I do not expect to be Bill's replacement. When I saw you two when you left the restaurant, I knew the kind of love you have for him. I'm not here for that. I am here because I am your friend." Hill smiled, touched that John had remained steadfast. She reached out to hold his hand, and at the same time, she felt something in her pocket. Hillary took it out and remembered that she had kept Bill's ring in her pocket. She took it out, held it in front of her.

 _I always wear it because it reminds me of you._ Bill once told her. She smiled and pressed a kiss on it.

Doctor Ornish then arrived, all of them stood up. Hillary held her breath as they wait for his announcement. Doctor Ornish took off his cap, his face free from a mask. Hillary's eyes landed on the smudges of blood on his scrubs. She knew it was Bill's. It made her uncomfortable looking at it.

"Senator."

"Doctor Ornish, how is my husband?" She asked. John stood beside her his arms holding her, supporting her.

"Your husband, sir. Bill Clinton made it." Hillary gave a relieved sigh. "He gave us quite a scare; we almost lost him on the table." He announced, then waited for awhile to let it sink. "We had a flatline in the middle of our operation because he had a heart attack. His heart gave in during the surgery. It took us awhile to get him back." Hillary's eyes widened in shock. "But he's okay now. He's recuperating. Although we have a steady beating of his heart, we'll only be clear of his condition once he wakes up." Hillary nodded. "Can I see him?" "We just transferred him from the operating room. The nurse will assist you when he's ready." Doctor Ornish turned, then stopped and glanced back at them. "To say, Mrs. Clinton, the President fought to stay with us. For awhile, it scared me to think that he was gone because his heart had shut down. It was a miracle."

Hillary settled back on the seat when Doctor Ornish left. She was overcome with relief. Now all they have to do is wait for him to wake up.

"You need to go home, Hill. You need to sleep. It's late." John said as he crouched in front of her.

Hillary looked down at him and said, "I don't think I can..." "Look, I'll stay here. Go, sleep. You have a son waiting for you at home, and Chelsea needs some news when she wakes up. If something comes up, I'll let you know immediately." Hillary held his gaze and realized how genuine his affection for her was. "Why are you so good to me, John?" John smiled and gave a sigh, "I'm your friend, that's why. Now go home, so when you get back here later, I can finally take my turn to sleep." Hillary shook her head. "I can't, John. I don't want to leave his side not even a minute. Not after I _almost_ lost him." She looks up at him to see if he understood when he remained unresponsive, she continued, "I don't even want a minute to be far away from him as possible. I will stay beside him whatever it takes." John nodded in understanding. "Alright, I'll be here tomorrow to see what I can do to help." Hillary nodded and leaned down to kiss his cheek. "Thank you, John."

### 

Doctor Ornish brought Hillary to Bill's private room. While they were walking, Doctor Ornish told Hillary of Bill's condition. "The thing is Senator, some patients after heart attack ends up being in a coma. The anesthesia should have lapsed, but we did not get any response from him." Hillary stopped walking and looked up at the Doctor. "We've run through some test, and it all came normal." "I don't understand; you mean to say, the test returned normal but he's in a coma?" "Yes, that's exactly what happened." They stopped in front of a door, "Mrs. Clinton, I wish I have answers to your question, but to say, how your husband managed to get back to us after minutes of being in flatline was a miracle, something that's beyond our comprehension, but he went back nonetheless." Doctor Ornish grasped the knob, then added before he opened the door, "What happens while he's in this state is his fight, you may want to talk to him because he can hear you. His brain functions quite actively as of the moment."

When Hillary got into the private room, her eyes immediately landed where he was lying. There were several apparatuses around to monitor him. A nasal cannula was placed in his nose to supply oxygen. The curved part goes in his nose. The tubing tucked behind his ears. He looked like he was sleeping but with the apparatus from the hospital. She went near and brushed his hair. "Hello," she whispered as her tears came rolling down her cheeks unchecked. She brushed back his hair away from his forehead and leaned down to drop a kiss. She pressed her cheek to his forehead as she said, "I missed you."

After spending several minutes caressing his hair. Hillary sat down on the seat next to his bed holding his hand. She took her time observing him, watching the rise and fall of his chest. Hillary realized how suddenly their life had changed within 48 hours. She felt tired and sleepy, but she fought it and stayed awake. If she could, she would stay awake until he wakes up.

She caressed his hand as she began talking to him, "I read your letter. It was the most beautiful letter I have ever read, but I hate how you made me cry by how it sounded like as if you were saying goodbye. I hate goodbyes, Bill. You know how much I hate that. I hated it when I said it to my mom, and I hate that, although you never said it, it sounded like as if you were not coming back. And what do you mean about giving John a chance? I'm sorry my dear husband, but if you left me, I would never marry someone else after. Not ever. Because like you, I never had loved anyone as much as I have loved you. I would carry on being alone because the love that you gave me for the past 26 years is enough to fill the rest of my life. You, too, gave me a lifetime to cherish. I'd relive those moments again even only in memory." Hillary's tears came running down again wetting the back of his hand, and she laid her cheek against it. "But I don't want you to go.... because I..." Her voice broke, "Because I do not know how I can even live without you. I do not know how I can live without having to touch your hand again, to hear you laugh, to watch you sleep, to be the recipient of your smile, to say I love you over and over. And, I still want to walk down the aisle and marry you again. I know I had admired your selflessness, but I'm incredibly selfish when it comes to you. I'm sorry, but I don't want you to go, Bill. I want you to stay with me. So please, please stay."

###

The sun was starting to rise, and the birds began to chirp loudly outside. Soon the life within New York City would bloom. Traffic would build, coffee shops would be filled as people would come and go and have their daily dose of caffeine to start their day. Every morning was a sign of life, a beginning.

It wasn't different from the Clintons though, as exactly the sun started to shine, Bill Clinton woke from the coma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> （／．＼） Alrighttttttttt, I read your comments. I purposefully didn't leave any end note because I am prone in defending my story, and I'd rather not be defensive. I wanted Chapter 16 to be spoiler free, so there. Anyway, I hope you forgive me for the lack of response, but seriously I wanted to respond to each of your comment and tell you to hold on (just as how Hill held on). HAHAHAHA. Second, I hope you like this update. Let me know what you think. ╭( ･ㅂ･)و
> 
> P.S: I was going back and forth on my Back to You and Stay With You stories, and I realized that I have too many grammatical errors. I _almost_ pulled them out because I wanted to fix them, I will do so this weekend (slowly fix them). But I'm sorry. (ﾟｰﾟ)
> 
> Thank you so much for your continued support. We are 2 more chapters to go and we're done, I'm closing my With The Clintons series. ╥﹏╥ (I'm gonna miss them.)


	18. Chapter 18

Bill struggled to wake up as his lids felt heavy. He fluttered his eyes until he was able to open them successfully. His body ached, his throat dry. He felt out of sorts. He turned his head slightly, and his eyes landed in his right and Hillary's sleeping face was the first thing he saw. She was holding his hand while she slept on her other arm.

Momentarily, he was disoriented. He had forgotten what occurred. It didn't dawn on him that he went through a surgery not until he realizes that he was in the hospital. The image when he was staring up at the lights above him, his doctor on a mask leaning down on him, and the scene when Hillary ran after him to remind him to come back her before they entered the operating room flashes in his mind.

Did all of that happened just last night? It felt like centuries ago.

He moved his hand a little, and his movement stirred Hillary. She opened her eyes, and seeing him awake was all that it takes to bring fresh new tears in her eyes—grateful that finally, the worst was over.

She turned her head to press a kiss on the center of his palm, and Bill smiled. "Darling," he called struggling to pull her. She stood and went to him sobbing. She wrapped her arms around his shoulder as she cried. Bill bit his lips, as his emotion overwhelmed him. Finally, he's back where he belongs—in her embrace.

###

Hillary spent the next few days attending to Bill's need. Although they could hire a home-based nurse, Hillary had insisted that she will personally take care of him. Bill told her that she didn't have to, but she took no for an answer. Internally, Bill was delighted that Hillary wanted to take care of him just as what he did when she was recovering from giving birth. He remembered how he would clean her surgical wounds, and now she wanted to do the same for him.

One time though while he lay on the bed fresh from the shower, and he was only wearing his boxers, Hillary was dabbing iodine on his wound. Bill flinched. Hillary stopped, then looked at him, "does it still hurt?" She murmured. Bill gazed lovingly at her face. Her hair was also wet from the shower; he thought that she looked magnificent with her uncombed messy wet hair and wearing nothing but her yellow robe. "It tickles." He said biting his lips. She thought that at that moment he looked incredibly boyish. She couldn't resist that she ended up leaning forward to kiss him. Bill's hand instinctively went to hold the back of her neck prolonging the kiss. When she pulled back a little she reached out to wipe his lips, then Hillary gave a small laugh when she caught his longing stare. "I know what you are thinking, and you're not going to get any." Bill groaned. "I know, I know. I can't get excited or anything because my old heart might not take the effort and I may end up having a heart attack, but..." he sighed, "I missed you." She held his cheeks and said, "well, I miss having you too. But your health first." He started to pull her again, his eyes dropped to her lips, "Can I get just one more kiss?" He asked. She placed her forefinger against his lips. "No, I already gave you one." "But..." He complained. Hillary rolled off out of bed. Bill ran his hand through his hair frustrated. "Jesus, being in constant erection and not doing anything about it is painful! Give me those pills again so that I can get impotent for a while." He said annoyed by the situation. Hillary just laughed. "Where are you going?!" He loudly asked as she sauntered out of their room. "Well, I have another man in need of my attention." She said. Hillary went to the other room after she heard Daniel crying.

Daniel was already a month old and had always been demanding of her attention too. Daniel seems to be possessive of Hillary, as he would cry if Hillary would let him go. She went to his room and took him out of the crib bringing him to their room. "Look who wants to sleep with us," Hillary said as she sat down on the bed beside Bill. "How is my man doing?" He asked as he scooted next to her. The moment that Daniel heard Bill's voice he started cooing happily and stretching his arms. "Come here," Bill said taking Daniel from Hillary. "Did you patch you wound already?" Hillary asked, concerned. "Yes, ma'am," Bill said winking at her. Bill was tickling Daniel's stomach when he announced, "I didn't tell you, but I met with John earlier." Hillary just stared at him. "I asked him to be my best man." Hillary gaped at him, surprised. "You did?" Bill pressed a kiss on Daniel's forehead and said, "I always thought that he was fitting to be my best man."

###

**Wedding Day, Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts**

Their wedding was not extravagant, and just small. Bill and Hillary only invited their close friends and relatives. They decided to get married in a secluded corner in Martha's Vineyard as it was one of their favorite places. Besides, they held too many memories there, and they wanted to add their renewal of vows in the list. Bill was so particular about the details to Hillary's amusement. He instructed that he wants them to they say their promise exactly facing the sunset, that the candles encased in the glass must be positioned next to the rows of white wooden chairs exactly on each side of the aisle that Hillary would walk on. He also selected the flowers that they used to decorate the place. He wanted the combination of hydrangeas and yellow roses because it was her favorite. As for their clothes, he ordered to re-make her Victorian wedding gown, while he wore a crisp white shirt, plaid red and white necktie, and a pinstripe suit. It was almost what they wore then, except that it wasn't. 

After 27 years of marriage, they almost came full circle. They experienced a lot in their lifetime: both good and bad. Their love story had reached miles from Connecticut where they met in Yale, to Arkansas, to Washington, to New York. Their journey went beyond anyone's imagination. It went through challenges that shook them to their core, but they came out stronger than ever. Over time, love had strengthened their marriage. And now, they are having their vows renewed after 27 years.

"Nervous?" John teased Bill, as they both wait for Hillary to walk down the aisle. Bill chuckled, "Not nervous, more of excited." "I should hire you to be my wedding planner when I get married someday." John joked. "This is just beautiful." Bill turned to look at him, "You know what John you won't need me when you get married again because if you fall in love, you will do your darnest best for your wife. It will bring out the creativity in you." John laughed. "I'll take that advice." Bill returned to his position, and added, "But you can contact me just in case."

The wind blew warm against his face, ruffling his hair. Bill's excitement spiked when the band started to play the music. He knew that she's arriving. When the limousine that brought her stopped just a few meters away from the venue, Bill couldn't help but tiptoed to take a peek at her. _Here she goes_. He thought. Bill couldn't help but smile all throughout the time. He was just filled with excitement over his bride. When their coordinator leaned on the window of the car and nodded, Bill knew that she's about to alight the car. He swallowed as his hand started to perspire, his eyes focused on the door where Hillary would come out. When she got out of the car, and he saw her, he stopped breathing.

She was damned beautiful.

And he was so lucky to marry her _again_.

When she stood at the end of the aisle, holding a bouquet of flowers, and a smile spread across her face, Bill couldn't help but touch his chest exactly where his heart is beating because, then and there, he had fallen a little more deeply in love with her. He felt his heart beat hard against his chest. His eyes started to blur from unshed tears. His throat worked like as if he was swallowing.

She took her first step, just as the band started to sing their wedding song. Bill was not particular with the song as he had Chelsea selected for them. Chelsea had told him that she had exactly a song to play, which he was not familiar with but he thought that the lyrics were perfect. 

_Heart beats fast_  
_Colors and promises_  
_How to be brave_  
_How can I love when I'm afraid_  
_To fall_  
_But watching you stand alone_  
_All of my doubt_  
_Suddenly goes away somehow_

Ever step she took, the struggles they both had flashed before him: His scandals, how he almost got impeached, when they were on the brink of divorce, the strains that they went through when she campaigned as a senator, when she broke the news that she was pregnant, when they fought because of his jealousy that led to his journey to Africa, when she had given birth, and how he almost lost his life. She was strength, she was forgiveness, and she was love. And it humbled him. He heaved a sigh because he was just so grateful for her.

_One step closer_  
_I have died every day_  
_waiting for you_  
_Darlin' don't be afraid_  
_I have loved you for a_  
_Thousand years_  
_I'll love you for a_  
_Thousand more_

When she stopped in front of him, he was not able to control it; his tears fell without restraint. She reached out to wipe his cheeks. She giggled, and teased him, "I had the impression that it was supposed to be the bride crying in her wedding day." Her eyes were watery just as much. He bit his lips, closed his eyes, and nodded, "Apparently, grooms shed tears too when they marry their true love." He said as he dropped a kiss on her hand and tucked it under his arm. They took a few steps and stood before the pastor.

The sun started to hide in horizon painting the sky in hues of red, and orange. The band played softly in the background, mingling with the waves of the ocean. While they say their vows, others were seen crying as Hillary read hers, and Bill read his. Both Bill and Hillary gave their heartfelt promise to each other.

When the pastor gave the blessing and had told him to kiss the bride, people teased them for it. Bill took a step closer and held her face. He hovered for a while and said, "I am eternally yours, Hillary," before he descended his head and kissed her. People clapped and cheered. When he pulled back, and his face was inches before her, she touched his cheek and whispered, "Just as I am, Bill. Forever. Always. Yours, and yours alone." He smiled gently and dropped a quick kiss as he pulled her into an embrace. 

That night after they spent the rest of the time dancing, laughing, and having fun during their reception. Bill decided that they take a walk along the shoreline before they end the night. They took off their shoes, and he carried them. They both enjoyed the silence, holding each other's hand, as the cold water soaked their feet. Bill found a spot for them to settle for a while. He moved Hillary to stand before of him, her back to his front, his arms wrapped around her, her head under his chin. They both listen to the waves of the ocean, then he asked, "Happy?" "With you for the next more years? Happier." Bill tightened his embrace, "You know, I realized that whatever happens, and however hard the next few years will be, they wouldn't compare to what we went through together. I feel like as if we've been tested enough." He turned her to face him, "We already faced scandal, distance, life, and death, what could be worst than that?" She smiled, as he brushed her hair back. He descended his head until his lips were hovering above hers and he whispered, "Hill, you know, I feel like as if I am ready to face the next challenges because you know what—" "What?" "At the end of the day, however hard the next few years will be, I'll always choose you; I'll always stay with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (இ﹏இ`｡) I hope you like the ending. I thought I was up for one more chapter; I realized that this is the final one. Anyway, thank you so much for sticking with me, and my story. It had been an incredible journey so far (from Washington, to New York, to Africa, to Martha's Vineyard in Massachusetts). I had fun writing [With the Clintons](http://archiveofourown.org/series/620866). If you want to know, I try to maintain my pace and be true to my posting deadline, so I update within 2 - 3 days (I'm not sure if you notice that, hehe). This is the first time I have written fanfic. I didn't know that it was that tough. I have the 2 - 3 days for preparation: rereading, and going through my timeline and elements ensuring that I got them covered. So I spent the past few days in between working, sleeping, hanging out with my friends, thinking about my timeline, and writing (among many things). Ergo, I had neglected the books that I have bought this year. _Ergo_ , I'll be taking a break for the meantime, to catch up with my readings. I just can't juggle reading, and writing (a new series) at the same time considering that I care about my readers (HAHAHA, but no seriously), and about what I do. I'm saying this because I want to set the expectation, so I don't think I can start with a new series, but maybe later this month or early next month. v(￣∇￣)
> 
> Wow, sorry, I think I am thinking this too thoroughly. I'm sorry, I do not mean to be melodramatic. (^▽^;) But of course, I'll still write, heck someone already challenged me to write a one-shot fiction (that I accepted), but I may not write a lengthy one in the meantime. Anyway, again, thanks for the free beers (kudos), encouragement, and love (I hope you love my jemoticons). (੭•̀ω•́)੭̸*✩⁺˚
> 
> PAX.
> 
> P.S: The song is Thousand Years - Christina Perri (it's an old song, but the lyrics is on point, just listen to it and enjoy. heh)


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